SLOWLY BUT STEADILY HE DID IT.

CHAPTER 3
SLOW AND STEADY.


Both were tired. They felt as if they worked in a chimney. Both looked like chimneysweepers.
They got busy shaking dust and dirt from their clothes. He walked over to her. He asked her to go with him to the brook. She kept quiet, as if not listening. She was not willing to go any farther.
He: “Air, and plenty of fresh air you got now.”
She does not respond. She looks at the sky. She is in deep thought.
He: “What is wrong?”
He: “Will you not speak?”
She averted the face. She was in two minds.
He left her alone to the mercy of her bad mood.
He went down towards the brook to check water for a good wash. At a distance he saw birds hovering and chirping in circular chorus. That means there was water. It was not dry.
He ran to her to fetch her to the brook. His look was entreating. After a while, she followed with tired legs. She was in no mood to move further.
With a sigh of tiredness she walked round the place,
Her steps were not steady. There was no life. She was dragging herself to the brook just to please his fancy. She approached the site with a sigh.
And she came upon him washing himself.
He had taken off his shirt, with rolled breaches on his hips. He was ducking his head with water. She wanted to retreat, but in the dripping gloom of the forest, she started to tremble uncontrollably. The white torso of the man she hated, seemed beautiful,

The white firm body with silky fur skin maddened her senses. Never mind his stern face and his hard eyes ! Never mind his stupid personality! His body in itself was divine, reflecting through the gloom like a revelation. It was with great difficulty that she brought herself back to her normal self.
She walked into the shallow waters.

She moved and had a splash with the water.
He ran after, snatched her from her waist belt, and lifted her like a basket. She was out to get herself freed. She applied all force at her command to free herself from his grip. She was an excellent opponent. Result.

It was expected. There was a noise when the buckle of the belt gave away. Both got thrown in opposite sides. It was mishap. Both tumbled down in the water, all wet drenched and dripping with water. Had he not pulled her she would have gone overboard in deep wet soil.

She: “Now, Look! What you have done to me? You got me all wet! She shouted with mock annoyance.
She: “You got me all wet and I am shivering!” “How shall I change?”

He let go of his grip. He put aside from her face, a lock of hair with his fingers.
He: “I’m sorry”
She: “What sorry! Everything is covered by being sorry?”
He: “I am really, really sorry.”
Both set at the end stones of the brook with their feet dangling in water. Both finished cleaning. Both sat side by side easy with each other.

They felt chilly and wet in their drenched clothes. Her cheeks had gone rosy. An icy shiver curled down her spine. The hair at her neck pricked. She shook her head to clear it and winced. Her scalp burned. The roots of her hair tingled and burned. The valley between her shoulder blades was sore. Her arms throbbed with fatigue and tiredness. She was exhausted due to the strain of the day.

They rushed back to the cave hurriedly. Rain began to pour in the meantime.
They were shivering of cold. Cold wind was biting them, causing shudders. They were in need of complete rest. Both were dog tired. Both were without spare clothes with them.
He: “Take this.”
He gave her the sack. He took the overnight bag.
He carried the over-night bag and was off to the inner place.
She was reluctant. She was determined not to go in the back of the cave. She wanted to pass her time in the front. She stood there for quite a while. Fierce rain, hard wind and her wet clothes forced her to change her mind. She was helpless. She was alone in the lobby. She got scared of the loneliness. After long deliberation she moved in. She had taken her step to her doom.
Once inside, both tried to dry the clothes with bare hands. Once inside, both tried to be informal and happy. He opened the over-night bag, took out some newspapers, spread them on the floor. He took out the packet of sandwiches and bottle of wine as if ready to eat and drink. He had a blanket and a tablecloth in the sack.
He: “We’ll have to dry ourselves”
She: “Yes. I am too cold. I am shivering.
(She was shivering, shuddering and trembling. Her teeth were chattering. Her face covered with water drops.)

He: “Better take out your dress!”
She refused flatly. She was shocked.
He: “Don’t be funny. You will catch cold and catch pneumonia. You have pinafore beneath. What is the matter?”
He:-“Please don’t stand to formalities. You will kill yourself.”

She was annoyed that he knew details of what females wore within. It was not his business.
She: (she muttered to herself) “Yes.”
Her body was shaking and teeth chattering.
He: “I’m going to undress myself.”
He: “I do not want to catch cold.”

He took the blanket and went in one corner to undress. He was a hustler. He knew his limitation. He was smart enough to be straightforward when he had to. He knew the rules.
In the meantime, she finding herself alone unbuttoned her frock. She handed it over to him to hang somewhere to dry.
He was utterly oblivious to her partial undress. He picked up sandwiches and bottle of wine and both eagerly swallowed it. They felt very hungry and tired. The food with the wine brought some energy in them. Suddenly he let out a whistle of surprise.
She: “Now what? What is the matter?”
He: “Good God!”
He: “You are all wet still.”
He: “Your pinafore sandals and everything is dripping with water.”
He: “You will catch pneumonia.” “What to do?”
She: “My legs have gone icy.”
He: “You take out all your clothes to dry.”
He: “Take the table cloth and you wrap around like a sari.”

He took charge of the situation and ordered.
She: “Take off inner clothes?”
She: “Are you crazy?”
She gasped in horror.
A faint smile appeared on his face. He shrugged.
He: `”Suit yourself.”
He: “Kill yourself.”
She glared at him mischievously, mildly. She bit her lips. What he said was sense.
Her embarrassment came in the way. Her modesty ruled out undressing in his presence.
On other hand her common sense told her that it was the only sensible thing to do.
She: “Will you crawl back to the front door?”
She: “Check up if the rain stopped.”
She: “We may as well leave.”
He: “OK!”
He agreed. He rose instantly.

He ran to the hole and out in the front to check up if the rain had stopped. She hurriedly shed all her clothes. She spread them on the floor in one corner. She wrapped the tablecloth around her. It revealed her figure prominently. She sat on the floor as if nothing happened supporting herself with the back of the wall.
He returned in the meantime. He reported that rain had not stopped. He lowered his frame besides her. He patted her shoulder. He looked at her with love and tenderness. He was all butter and honey.
He: “You are everything.”
He: “How can I harm you?”
He: “How can I misbehave?”
He: “How can I take advantage of you?”
He: “So relax.”
He: “Don’t be afraid.”

Her arms crossed over her bosom. She was having tremor of cold. She was shivering. The tablecloth wrapped around her came up to her knees. It clearly revealed lovely ankles.
He never imagined ladies could have such slender ankles and shapely legs. Her figure, the shape, the frame were a sight to see. It was her capital-all she had. She was not looking. Her head rested on her knees. She was silent. She was horrified. She was nervous. Her eyes were closed as if resting, not sleeping rather dozing. He did not like her shyness, awkwardness in such a situation.
He asked if she was comfortable.
She: “Yes.” “I’m better now.”
Both felt drowsy. Both felt relaxed. Both felt sleepy. The tension had gone. She was at ease and relaxed. She raised her arms in an effort to stretch them. She stretched her tired legs. She massaged her calf. She moved her body sideways to shed her fatigue. No help would be coming from anyone. She was all by herself to take care of herself. She had placed herself in a vulnerable situation by coming with him.

She was tired beyond imagination. Her left arm was wrapped around her. Her right arm alternately pinched her forearms. Her attention turned to the tips of her fingers.
They had turned blue. She frowned. She blamed herself for putting herself in such a situation. She was trembling and shivering with cold.
She: “I wonder what time it must be!”
He: “It must be around six in the evening.”
She jerked her chin in his direction.
She: “Do you think it might have stopped raining?”
He: “May I crawl and check up?”

She: “Go.”
She: “Yes”
She: “Please do”
She: “But do not go out” it was said with concern.
He goes. He gazed out from the bottom step through the hole. Then he had to climb to the top. In the meantime she stands up, stretched her legs which were almost cramped.
She stretched her hands, sides, back her whole self. She felt better. He returned and reported that it was raining cats and dogs. He sat close to her. Both got entangled to each other to protect them from shivering. They huddled together drawing heat from each other. He put his hands around. She looks wide-eyed. She flinched and winced.
She: “You do not think we will be struck up for a while?”
She: “Or perhaps longer”
He smiled reassuringly. His eyes were soft and tender and loving.
He: “Of course not!”
He: “Are you silly?”
He: “We will have to leave soon”
He: “You have not to be afraid of me.”
He: “Relax” “Be easy”
He: “Be normal.”
He: “Be natural.”
He: “I’ll do nothing improper.”
Hearing assurance from him, she felt happy. She felt relaxed. She felt at home. She had crouched closer to him. He put his arms around her. He began to caress her back. He began to rub her back with his palms. She felt nice and happy. They remained huddled to each other for a while in an attempt to warm up each other.

He: “There it is!”
He: “Feel any better?”
She: “Yes”
It all began perfectly naturally. His rubbing turned into caressing. The caressing turned into stroking. He stroked her body. She felt quite heated. He rubbed, caressed stroked her face, neck shoulders, back front, everything. She swallowed hard as he stroked the upper swell of her breast; dipped and nuzzled the cleft in between them. Her skin burned to his touch. Her desire was at its peak. She did not stir. She liked. She did not protest. She was enjoying. Her eyes were closed. He massaged her sulky body vigorously sending wild sensuous messages through his palms. It looked she was losing consciousness and about to faint in agony. It was only when he shifted himself full length towards her, and took her breasts in his hands and started squeezing the nipples vigorously and hovered on top of her in an attempt to kiss her lips, to kiss her on her mouth that she flinched, winced. She drew back. She looked up wide-eyed. She stared surprised. She regained herself. She got herself disentangled from his embrace. She moved out to a distant place near the wall away from him, sat with support of the wall at a respectful distance from him.

He: “Oh!”
He: ”By God!”
He: “It was a mistake, an accident on my part! I had not intended to touch there. It all happened in an unknowing way.”
He: “Purely without my knowing”
He; “Oh!” “I feel so disgusted. I am really sorry.”
He: “I would never do any harm to you”
He: “You are perfectly safe with me”
He: “I would never do again”
He: “I swear by God.” “I promise”
He: “I will sure behave” “Forgive me”
He: “Believe me” “Trust me”
He: “You are shivering. Please be back here.”

She did not reply. She kept quiet. She did not budge. There was tightness in her groins. She felt desire had overtaken her normal senses. She realized. She was susceptible to any folly in her helplessness. She was on her guard. Enough was enough. She decided. She was worried about the consequences. She felt concerned. She repented for her recklessness. She blamed herself.
As it is, she had allowed him to take lot of liberty. She wanted to end the chapter right there.
She was alarmed the way he had advanced with her. She had given him enough liberty.
On the other hand, according to him things progressed as per schedule. She was alert now. She was engrossed in her own worries and problems.
He: “How are you feeling? Any better?”
She: “I’m fine here. You do not worry about me. I am quite all right. I think the rain might have stopped by now. We will have to be backing home before it gets late.”
She leaned against the wall stretching her legs and raising her arms in an attempt to shed cold and stop shivering. She was trying to behave normal natural not worried.

He: “Please yourself”
He: “Kill yourself”
He: “Catch pneumonia”
He uttered with utter dismay in his voice.

Long silence developed. Rain was pouring outside in cats and dogs. Nobody spoke. Both were silent. Time passed. It must be around seven in the evening. Atmosphere was charged with suspense. There was tension in the atmosphere. He rested his head on his knees attempting to sleep. She saw.
He stole surreptitious glances. A light of cracking thunderbolt blazed inside as if nature had opened up a search light in the cave. His eyes popped up. In the brief second, he had a glimpse of her figure in silhouette. Her whole figure was revealed and see. Flimsy tablecloth was really flimsy in the real sense of the term. She hugged the tablecloth around her in an attempt to conceal; it quite revealed. The firm breasts pressed against the knees provoked him to a point of no return. Outline of her thigh was captivating maddening him almost entirely. The long columns of her legs promised still better greenery inside. Silhouette of the slender frame of her body was seen sending wild messages. He could not take his eyes off her. He was almost mesmerized. A sense of thrill passed through him. He was all-eager now. He got excited beyond control. He was stimulated beyond limits. He was ready to take any risk to get her. She looked like an over-ripe fruit to be possessed, eat it there and there. She appeared to him as a fragrant flower emitting sweet smell. He lost all his senses. He thought of pushing himself to her side. He got sexually stimulated. He wanted a release. He got aroused.

She was the thing he craved at the moment. He was never aroused like this before. He had not seen a girl in nude so scantily dressed so close.
He was shaken by the intensity of his desire for her. His breathing had become shallow. He was ready for the action. All his senses were directed towards her. His eyes narrowed, his gaze locking with hers.

Her heart also skipped beats. She swallowed hard. She realized. She felt her throat and the mouth dry. Both were waiting. There was suspense in the atmosphere.
None in his life had appealed to him in such a fascinating way. His throat was dry, his voice tight, and he felt all his veins pulling and stretching. His body ached in an untold pain and agony. His senses had gone paralyzed. He did not know what to do. He would have collapsed. He thought fit to take away the eyes from her. He gazed at the top and the walls. He attempted to control and be normal. He suppressed his throbbing desires to possess her. There was enough time for everything.

It was she who broke the silence. He returned from reverie and wild dreams. She said in a small voice.
She: “I am so cold. My legs have gone icy. I think I shall die.”
He swung his head to look at her. She was curled up in the corner near the wall. She was shivering, shuddering and her teeth chattering.
He: “May I come and sit with you?”
Without waiting for an answer, he rushed to her, wrapped hands around her. He straightened her bent knees. He lifted her and made her stand on her feet at the wall. He took out the blanket, spread it on the floor, and made her lie down on it. He reclined himself besides her emitting his heat in her. Both lay there for quite a while.

He covered her with his body. Her skin began to warm. Only then she realized how cold she had been. The warmth seeped into her.
Their body rubbed against each other. It made her catch her breath for the reason that she needed it so badly. To need it is have it. She was lucky to have it. All do need but can’t have it. She felt better. She was recovering. She had her eyes closed. She felt she would die of shame and shyness. Both bodies got entangled in a tight embrace. He had covered her with his full size frame.
He: “Let us not die.”
He: “We want to live.”
He: “What to do?”
He; “Oh! God!”
He: “Stop the storm!”
He: “Keep us warm!”

His embrace did warm her. Her skin was damp in many places. Her teeth for sure, had stopped chattering. She felt warm and color returning to her cheeks. Her heart hammered beneath her breasts. She felt it would spring out of her body. Her veins started getting stretched and pulled. She experienced a sort of unknown sensation. Her body was drawing heat from his frame. Gradually she was returning normal. Her shivering and shuddering seemed stopped. She felt better. She liked it. She drew closer to him drawing heat from him. She cradled herself clung to his body as if never to leave it. She was feeling cozy comfortable and relaxed in his tight embrace.
She felt on top of the world in the worst of the circumstances. She was not afraid. Her shyness was ebbing. She was reacting to his heat. She wanted to be loved and fondled. She was no longer intimidated. She was no longer unwilling and protesting. She was responding, ready to go all the way.

The floor of the cave and the blanket looked like she was in a palace on a huge bed. She was lying on a meager blanket but she did not want to leave it. It was a mere blanket spread on a hard ground; yet the downiest coach in the world or the softest bed in the king’s palace could not have made a better resting place for her. She felt as if she were in Heaven. She felt relaxed safe and comfortable. He continued to rub her arms. He continued to rub her face, her chin, neck, shoulders, her breasts and everything. He rubbed her legs with his own.
His toe moved to her ankle, knee higher and higher all the way up. Her icy skin started turning normal. He felt as if his legs were moving in satin. He could not resist the feel of her voluptuous body. He wanted her urgently without any delay. He was guarded. He was careful. He was on an alert. He controlled himself. Her breath was fast. She was responding. She was panting. Her heart was throbbing. Her face had gone red like fire. She opened her eyes; she stretched her body, shook it, and rather pulled it. She looked up. Her eyes were glowing. Her lips parted, her mouth opened. She grinned at him, revealing her white teeth. He moved his hand up her face, removed the lock of hair that had come up on her face. He ran the fingers on every part of the body. He fell back on his back and closed his eyes. She felt as if electric current was passing through her. He caressed her head, cheeks, neck, shoulders, arms, and every place. She felt good to be in his arms. She liked to lie cuddled in his arms. She felt something between them had changed. Her hatred for him had not been there. She felt some liking for him. She was moved by his efforts to comfort her. She felt she had not returned his feelings for her.

She felt she had been unduly harsh towards him. She felt relaxed, cozy, and happy, that she hid her head in his shoulders out of shame and shyness. She clung to him violently. She felt tingly live warm happy. She felt her skin, breast, legs, hands her neck, tighten. She felt as if her body expanded and wanted his warm contact more and more. She felt her body twitching pulling, expanding, and releasing hot air from within. She smelt the aroma that was familiar, a message, symptom that it yearned for company.
He: “Oh! You are so beautiful!”
He: “You are really a fairy.”
He: “You are the most beautiful one.”
He: “No other female in the world like you.”
He: “None can match you.”
He: “Oh! why are you so shy with me?”

He went on nuzzling her face with his mouth, then her lips neck, breasts and he went down and down causing untold agony and sweet pain.
He untied knot of the tablecloth, and lo! She was all before him in a nude state like a marble milk white statue fully exposed in front of him.
He: “May I kiss you?”
He urged in a low husky voice as if it were a prayer he was offering to Love Goddess. He hummed like a murmur in her ears. Her body was poised alive pulsing and wanting. .
He: “Just” “Once” ”Please”
He: “May I?”
He: “I shall be obliged.”
He: “Only once please!”

She did not reply.
Electric current was blowing through her.
She wanted to touch him, hold him and wanted her body up against his. Her body was urging towards him. She wanted herself merged with his body.
She felt her heart racing and an intense feeling of closeness had overcome her. Her arousal was quite new to her. Her body burned and ached and waited for the final play. She felt waves of butterflies in her stomach. His closeness and tenderness aroused her. She continued to stare at him, almost gazing, as if surprised, as if she did not want to be asked. She did not like his question but and why. She was ready to do and die. She was intoxicated and lost in her own world of bliss and happiness. There was undisguised Love and desire in her eyes. He saw it. He was moved. He bent on her.
He kissed her. He parted her lips with his tongue, opened her mouth and started playing hide and seeks. Her mouth was moist wet and inviting. One kiss did not suffice. One kiss did not quench his thirst. His hunger for her was not satiated. He wanted to kiss her, again and again and again and forever. He never wanted to stop. He was gentle, loving and kind not giving her a chance to protest. He felt her mouth moving shyly hesitantly beneath his own. He felt her body entwined to his from head to foot. His heart throbbed, thudded loud and fast from his chest reaching to his ears. He could feel nothing beyond an intense desire for her. He loosened his arms around her. He eased the intensity of his kiss. He allowed her body to separate from him. There was some distance of a few inches between the two. He raised his head. He stared at her.

Her eyes were closed as if she were in sound sleep. He stroked her face to awaken her. He stroked her shoulders to awaken her. His hands went downwards holding breasts in both hands. He started fondling them simultaneously.
He took the nipples one by one in his mouth and started squeezing with his lips, biting lightly with the teeth, his other hand busy fondling the other piece. Only then she opened her eyes.
She protested mildly.
She: “We must not be doing all this”
She: “It is not good for us both.”
He: ‘Hey!’ “You don’t worry at all.”
He: “I will not do any harm.”
He: ”I am a friend.”
He: “Let me hold you for a while.”
He: “I will behave.”
He: “Then we go home.”
She hesitated. She started to get up.
He was swift. He stamped his mouth on hers vigorously, started fondling her body again. He continued to nuzzle her, caress her, rub her, and stroke her. He raised her arms over her head. He smelled, sneezed her armpits one by one.
The effect was maddening. She swooned in his arms. This was new to her. She responded. She could not bear the agony any longer. She brought her hands down and engulfed him in an embrace. He lay on her resting and relaxed. He was quite aroused. He could not check himself. Both had become one. Both had surrendered to each other. Both had turned into one. He sucked and licked her neck and the back, hungry not satisfied, his teeth biting her skin. The sensation has aroused her to a great extent. She no longer felt tricked and cheated.
She felt she had ill-treated him in the start. She should have been lenient towards him. For a while he withdrew his head as if to rest for a while.
This allowed her to relax and breathe normally. She had started turning immobile and frigid under his weight. Now she felt freed and normal once again. It seemed both had taken an interval.

The second act was about to begin. He got up. He about turned her. . He made her lie down on her stomach. He caressed her back and her everything sending electric sensations in her body. She could not bear anymore; she felt she would die of agony. After a while, She moved on her back, faced him straight into his eyes to find love there.
He took his mouth to her lips and kissed her intimately and vigorously and violently. Both played with their tongue, game of catch and hide, hide and seek, catch and bite.
She felt as if she would die of pain any moment. He fondled her waist, navel and down and down all the way between her legs. She flinched, she winced. She tried to withdraw, back up and get up. He pressed her shoulders hard with his elbow and forced her to lie down and fiercely continued kissing her, fondling her stroking her all the while, all the time.
He: “I love you.”
He: “I love you.”
He: “I love none but you and you” only.”
He: “I want you.”
He: “I want you.”
He: “I want none but you and you only.”
She: “It is not wise.
Please. She murmured, she whispered trembling, shuddering. Her mind refused, her heart wanted it all the way. She was split into yes and no. Yes was about to prevail.


He: “Oh! dear. I want to be only with you.”
He: “I will not do any wrong.”
He: “Just I want to feel you. I love you; I want to die for you.”
He: “I will not do anything vulgar to you.”
He: “Only I want to feel close to you.”
He: “How can I do any harm to my own love!”
He: “I love you more than my life.”
He kissed her vigorously.
She: “Do you quite love me?”
She: “Are you sure you do love me?”
He: ‘I do.” “I do.”
He: “I love you, love you. I love you.”
She sighed heavily. She smiled. He felt as if her breasts were rising, touching his mouth. He swallowed them both vigorously one by one, turn by turn, in the mean time, holding the other one with help of his hands and not letting them out of sight even for a second. A big fire was ignited within her. She was unable to extinguish it. She was not her own self. She was a different being today. She felt like throwing herself at his feet to entreat him to end the game. It was beyond her endurance. Each time he stopped she was nervous. Her body ached for more. She had already resigned herself and placed her at his mercy. She could not bear the pain, agony any longer. She had surrendered. She was all set for the final play. Everything was set and both were ready eager and looking forward for the final play. Her body heaved. He had switched on the ignition key. The engine had found life. It fired, sputtered coughed and roared to life. It was to be geared to put it into motion. She raised her head as if twisting it. She raised her arms as if stretching them. She twisted her head from side to side to relax and ease the pain. She raised her body turned sideways to feel relaxed.

She bent her back up and down to feel relaxed. Now he was playing with his hand on the back. His hand was insistent but, light like a feather.
She was spread full length, her body experiencing untold agony and pain. She was not aware what was happening. She was as if sleeping closed eyed as if not knowing anything.
She was feeling his slow strokes on her body. She was exhausted had no strength to refuse him or make protests. She had no desire to get up and stop him. She did not want him to stop doing what he was doing.
She did not want to wince, flinch or protest in any way. She was eager to allow him to do as he pleased. She had her eyes and her mind tightly closed.
An unknown desire and happiness overwhelmed her. She was drowned in an ocean of bliss and happiness. She was flying in air her body experiencing untold waves of electric current. She never wanted that he should stop half way. . She wanted that he should go on forever. She was getting tremors, waves of jerks and upheaval in her body. She was experiencing an unknown feeling of truth beauty and goodness. She was feeling she was nearer to Heaven for the first time in her life. She was experiencing an unknown feeling of love and happiness unknown to her. She never wanted that he should withdraw now. She wished him to continue forever. She was gradually melting in him, becoming one with him. They were one entity now. He had aroused her to a point of no return. He paused for a while to have a look at her. He found her face red hot and flushed. He saw love and happiness in her company.

An unknown feeling of satisfaction, contentment and well being overwhelmed her. His touch caused tremors, jerks and vibrations in her body heather to before not known to her. She was on her journey to Heaven. She was all engrossed to feel the unknown pleasure. She never had imagined their union could be so exciting and loving. She was anticipating and awaiting his next move. She was anxious about it.
Her heart jumped with anxiety and eagerness. She could bear it no longer. Their mouth, their lips arms hands palms legs body everything were associated and introduced with each other to a point of no return. It was as if a one way street; a point of no return!
They had enveloped, engulfed into each other as if they were one entity. He drew her closer and closer, tighter and tighter suffocating cornering as if she would die of happiness. She felt that if she died she would not repent. She was ready to die. He fell so hard on her that she felt her body would break at last. Oh! Press it close to thy where I should break at last. All hearts have to break at last. Her heart beat loud and fast. Its beats were louder than drumbeats. She prayed and prayed that he may never leave her. She wanted him always for her. She had been aroused to a point of no return. She was eager to end the game. He paused. He looked around as an athlete looks around to size up the track. He looked at her. He felt love for her. He felt compassion and well being from within. Her eyes were closed; perhaps out of shyness or happiness he could not fathom. The atmosphere was charged with electricity, current passing in their veins. He was ready to go ahead all the way.


All the hurdles were crossed. The road was clear. Now the road was straight with no bumps and roadblocks or detours. It was green signal all the way. He had to drive along leisurely. He raised his hands and looked around to begin. With his hands he raised her face; he gently kissed her like a feather touch. There was nothing to fear to worry about. All her buts and ifs and fears were gone. The road was clear. The signal was green. Go ahead.
The final was about to begin. Here both were eager. Both felt they were incomplete unless they had finished it. Both were craving, dying to enter into each other. Both intensely wanted to go ahead. Both wanted to swallow, eat each other. This was the height of agony and torture for her. He massaged her tip making preparations. He spread his hand here and there. He positioned himself. This was the fag end of the journey to the moon. This time she did stir. She could not keep herself frigid howsoever she tried.
This time she did move. She was no longer that stiff and cold maiden now. This time she did open eyes. She wanted to see him, absorb him in her eyes. This time she stared at him. She was not shy this time. She felt quite happy.
This time she did not protest or refuse or withdrew or got up.
This time she did not stop him. She had no strength left to stop him. She saw him kneeling. She saw him bending and approaching. She stared at it mesmerized and frightened at its size, all swollen red like a charging bull.

She knew it was coming. She had waited quite long for this moment. She had burning aching feeling in her, the body wanting it now. She was writhing and arching like a wild mare. She was fully aroused. She had a glimpse of him in full action. She prayed all Gods to save her.
She was proud of him. She was happy with him. He was her everything in her life. She was all butter and honey. She was all kind and quiet. She was all praises for him.
She was all kindness and rewarding. There was complete change in her feelings for him. She could not bear any longer. Her patience was at an end. She could not wait further.
She felt as if she swooned and would die of anxiety if it did not visit her in the next few seconds. She was eagerly anxiously waiting for his arrival. She was all ready by herself.
Minutes were passing by. Hours were passing by. Nobody cared for time. Suddenly time had stopped. All clocks, all watches in the world had gone out of order.
World had stopped. There was no chaos. Storm had stopped. Everything was quiet for a while. All eyes were focused on her. Rain had stopped. Seasons had stopped. Sun had stopped. Everything had stopped. Wind had stopped. Atmosphere had stopped. The world had stopped. Everything had stopped. Nothing was moving. Everything was standstill.
Her hips sounded moving. She was responding to his tune. Both were charged with lust, dancing twisting jumping up and down and so on and so forth. She felt, she was ready lying on her back, her legs outstretched, spread-eagled to receive him.

He lowered himself on her and placed him on her door. She began to jump and dance stretch and
Squeeze to take him in her. He kissed her again.
She found herself wrapping her hands around him in his odyssey of love. She pulled him closer. He was moving slowly with rhythm of his own. He was handling her as if he were playing a guitar, instrument of music, his fingers deftly playing on the sensitive wires. She opened up in full and pulled him inside of her all the way as if to keep it there forever and not let it go. She wondered herself at her attempt to absorb him in her. He shuddered at last; she engulfed his torso with her raised entwined legs pressing him with all her strength.

She was experiencing a sigh of relief happiness. She felt filled up to her neck. They were on their journey to the moon. They were on a honeymoon in space.
Rockets were flying in the sky. Now the whole atmosphere was full of noise. Firecrackers, atom bombs were bursting deafening the ears. She had engulfed him. She was bathed in his sensations and love for him. She had swallowed him whole in her. She wondered how she could do this. Now, she began to move, first slowly than accelerating the speed and the momentum to a point of no return. The process had terrific heat in her. Life was all bliss and wonderful. She had never dreamt of life being so wonderful. She shuddered, went stiff and lying still anticipating further. She was thirsty of his love. Thereafter the way was sticky, the way was wet and slippery and easy and smooth.

He repeated his love, she responded like wise, and the never-ending game of love continued, went on and on and on; soon both were flying in air, rockets were bursting, trumpets were blowing and both had reached highest level of satisfaction, and ecstasy. Both had clanged to each other never to depart, unless death do them part.
A bond had developed between the two. It was an interminable bond. She was one in him. Both had lost their identity to be dissolved into one. He was one in her. She was one in him. Both were one in each other. Both dissolved in each other and came out as a single entity. It was complete dissolution of soul body and mind. It was a reunion of two human beings in Heaven. Their soul was one with two bodies. They had become one in each other. Both felt. Again, she moaned. She was floating in air.

She was shivering shuddering in some sensation. She gasped. She was feeling some unknown sensation. She was not by herself. She felt as if she got suffocated, choked, breathless, and dizzy. She held him tight over her with her hands in grip. She felt her blood rushed to a single point for a way out. It was as if waters of Victoria falls had fallen to earth. She was unknown to such a forceful bliss. She felt contented filled not wanting further. He too, cried out loud. He cried out her name for the first time. He had melted in her totally without any reservation without any shame. He accepted her for his whole life as a wife. She cried his name for the first time. She had melted in him completely without any reservation without any shame. Both had become one. They were not two individuals any longer. They were one in two bodies. That is pure love at its highest summit. They had achieved it. They surely had conquered the highest peak of spiritual love.

From that moment when she was consumed by his power, all things, she had considered important to her way of life, ceased to be important. They were not important any more. She felt as if she was swimming in the current of his love. She knew in quite certain terms that there was never, nor there would again be, a lover like him for her. She had been a selfish girl so far. Suddenly she realized that love begets love with kindliness and forgiveness. For her he was her Man. He was at this time, all that was strong, and all that was weak in a single man. She had made up her mind. She had believed in Destiny. Pairs were made in Heaven. Who are we to fight them! She belonged to him forever for life -for all lives to come.

He had a small career. At the most he may retire as a Captain or an Assistant Commissioner. This did not color her judgment. She accepted him with open eyes. They had talked frankly about his job. She had agreed that she was aware of all the drawbacks of public service. The separations, lack of permanent place, to live on account of frequent postings, a normal family existence, the long slow climb in matters of promotion in service, the need to be humble to superior’s wives- that none of the things would trouble her because they loved each other. Of course he knew they forget their commitments very soon. He had warned her that the climb would be hard. She had accepted it as a fact of life. She had lost any inclination to refuse him. In loving her, he too had come out of his hardness stiffness, his single-minded trend. He was eager to show tenderness humor consideration and understanding.
The search for a life-partner was called off for both of them.
The choice was made. Both were meant for each other.

People said many things about him.
No one could say that he was not handsome.
He was tall slender and graceful.
He had a sort of an animal type of grace that attracted
the ladies despite their unwillingness to involve in any relationship. He had a seductive youthfulness. He was a flatterer. He had the inborn quality to make out tales after tales
which the ladies liked to hear him narrate again and again.
He often wondered how people swallowed his crap, and how he managed to escape himself unchallenged. He simply had no idea. It was luck or his instinct to make the right acquaintance at the right time, and make exit at the right time.
His gestures were calculated with mathematical precision and his every smile wink handshake were well rehearsed. He had the neck to find out the families who would be useful.
She felt deep pity for him.
She saw him as a helpless captive in the hands of religion.
She also felt something else. She could not explain. It was an impulse but she experienced a physical need to touch him. This urge was so strong that when she spoke to him,
She pat him on his hand or put her hand on his thigh etc. Such innocent gestures very deeply kept him disturbed.
Something really tangible happened. He had finished his routine work and was about to retire to his place. She crossed the path and stood invitingly mocking.
She was absorbed in her game but at ease as she had seen him completing his outdoor job and returning on break for rest and lunch. She laid her hand on his shoulder dragging him near
as if she intended to reveal a secret.

He listened. Both, thereafter, with their hands entangled, departed towards his room on the top of the mansion. His hand came to rest on her shoulder. It moved down her back. She felt it went still deeper. She had a jittering of her body unknown to her. It came with an intensity which she never knew it was possible. It had lasted about a minute. It was total. It was so full and all-encompassing that it had an effect of an explosion she felt for all the time, she had lived and of all the years yet to be lived.
Now she was certain God existed. Now she could die without regret.

------------------------------------------
AN UNFINISHED PART- OF A LETTER.

Pride in Beauty is like a flaw in a diamond.
He seeks your pardon. You did not like him. You like around you a group of flatterers.
"Hear all; follow thy own judgment"-
You did not follow this advice. How can you two go on side by side without a quarrel? Let us come to the point.
First of all the job is to freshen up your memory. He introduces so that the visual image may form itself before
your eyes. He stumbled unto you sixteen years back.
Pride in a Beauty is like a flaw in a diamond.

The affair began at first sight. They were not living next door exactly, but he was living in the nearby area. He
used to pass by her window two times of a day around ten and six to just see you. In mornings he was lucky, in
evenings, may be, some times. There are fires that start spontaneously. Fire was intense on both sides. May be
you have heard of the fire at Fire Crackers market. Phut, Phut a Phut, a chain reaction of fire, noise, smoke and
light, and everything turned into chaos taking lives of hundreds, loss of property into millions. The fire was intense
on both sides much more than the one that gripped that town. He was proud of you. You were a lovely sight to
see. Your face was rarest of a rare face he came across as yet; such a face, by a glimpse of it, other faces would
fade in oblivion. Oh! What a pity! What a face it was! You spoiled it by creating wrinkles to it by frequently
frowning at small events. You created permanent laugh lines at the corners of your cheeks, due to frequent
prolonged smiling. You allowed frown lines in the forehead on account of frowning at the turn of unexpected
events and unwanted expressions on that lovely face. All this happened because you had high voltage temperament. WHY? Where, how, when, has the beauty of your face left you? Did you care to keep note of it?
NO. It is sure it is NO. Did you try to retrieve the loss? What right you had to be reckless and careless to abandon a prized property?

In pursuit of professional career you have lost a lot. You deserve to be elevated to the high post. This you will realize when you will be deprived of what you desire. He believes you deserve it. There are many considerations.
You will never agree to it. It is two years from now. You will then remember. It will be too late then to turn back the hands of the clock. After five years you may turn out to be an old maid like your old lady. You are going exactly in her footsteps. Now you need makeup of gray hair, at temples. You got reading glass on your face.
Flat heeled chappals and white clothes you have already adopted to look mature. You abandoned the dress. It used to cling to your lovely body like it belonged to you. He can not tell what goes on in your mind but in pursuit of a career you have paid a heavy price. You spoilt everything!

Any way! That’s life! The world is bright and blissful to love triumphant.
It is dark and desolate to love denied. Wifehood is the best stage in life under all circumstances. Every person has his/her own ways to see things.

In legal language, this is a case of temperamental incompatibility.
One of the two had to bend. That time too passed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
16 YEARS.IN.RETROSPECTION
WAKE UP CALL. . WAKE UP CALL. LET US GET STARTED. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.------------------------------------
When the world is sleeping, to-day on this day we are awake.

CHAPTER 2. FOOLS RUSH IN.

She was Beauty Queen of the College.
At first sight, other girls felt, that they had no chance. They had to give a walkover. Her shapely legs dazzled at every step with the flip of her skirts. She was tall, radiant, self-assured. She had a princess like air. She was endowed with a lovely
oval face. She looked, acted, with grace and taste. Her movement looked composed of, sexual allure, in girlish grace. It radiated hundred mega-watt of electricity with every of her movement. The magnetic field comprised of a radius of hundred miles wherein male objects got attracted towards her as never before.

She would greet even the highest dignitary, with just enough deference, to acknowledge with enough sparkle of sensuality, to convey to him that he was not an old fuddy-duddy dad type chap, for all that, but an attractive personality. The dignitary would never forget her, for the compliment. He would feel ten years younger that moment. That is her charm. World runs by showering kind words, on each other, bordering almost on the lines of flattery. You praise me and I praise you. That is how, day-to-day affairs are run.

To the pure, all things are pure. The best incident is which startle you; which contradict your belief, and opinion. Today she was confronted with an incident something like it. There was very much of love's language that she had to learn to know. She learnt a lot in a day.


It was Saturday. Saturday is lover’s day. It was noon time. It was a hot day. She had morning class. It was last day of the term; thereafter the vacation. No study for two months. Eat drink and be merry. All were eager to go home. All were tired of routine college class. All awaited time to go. All had made plans for the vacation. At last the bell was heard. It was the end of anxiety of all.

All ran to the door falling, pushing, tumbling, making way through. They had to pass the door to the lobby and off through the main gate to the main road.

She was not lucky to be in the row of first lot to reach the gate for crossover to the main road. Her known friends were ahead of her at some distance. Some were still near the class door just coming. It is chaos when the day ended at the College. It is a sight to see. It is so noisy!

She was eager to reach home. She had plans of visiting a friend. She had made necessary arrangement for staying at her place for a couple of days. She came out of the gate. She furled down her flying skirts as if smoothing it with her hand in an attempt to hold it from flying. She kept on moving in the crowd. Skirts have the most obnoxious way of flying up with slightest of wind blow. It balloons up all the way up to the waist, like an umbrella, putting the wearer in awkward spot revealing that part meant to be concealed from roving eyes.

Man proposes. Man dream a lot of dreams. Man make plan for his convenience. But God disposes. Circumstances force him to change his plan. All her wisdom did not help her. Wisdom does not come to our help in the nick of time. It evaporates in an emergency, when it is needed the most.

All resolutions melted in the next few minutes. Presence of mind was necessary. All promises were broken. Promises are meant to be broken at the hands of destiny.

All dreams shattered to pieces. Everybody has dream. Everybody’s dreams can not come true. Only a few are lucky to have the dream come true. They are really lucky.

Situation took an unexpected turn within the next few minutes. Her life changed forever. A police-car was parked at the junction that joined the main road. He came out of the car to wait for her. It was the time to lift her. He was Jimmy Anderson, the handsome Lieutenant Detective First Grade, Traffic squad, of the county.

He saw her coming walking absentmindedly in her own thought. She was alone. He caught up to her by the time she crossed over the school gate. She should not have been alone. He had decided to intercept her at the end of the school and taker her off with him.

Sensing someone following, she stepped quickly aside to wait for company. He came to her. He dashed against her. He pushed her. He manhandled her virtually. He slugged her shoulder, caught her arm, rather, caught her by the shoulder, to push her towards the waiting car, as if she were a parcel !

It was an incident of highway, daylight, abducting a college girl by a traffic cop. What would have been the consequences? Had he thought of it? Oh God! To what an extent man can behave in such a way! The unexpected attack frightened and perturbed her.
She: “What would all think of her?”
She pretended as if his slug did not hurt her, she pushed him quite hard, threw him off balance, with all force at her command. She had books in her hand that she should have dropped on the floor and should have slapped him.

Any way she freed herself. She continued to march ahead the main road. She should have run to her friends or cried for help, and attracted a crowd. He came back quite fast. He grabbed her from the waist, to carry her back, and dragged her.

Her reaction was instantaneous. She hit him on his knees with her leg. Her elbow crashed into his ribs. She bit him on his side. She did not know how she got strength to hit. He winced, he let go off his grip, twisted around, about to go down, landing on his knees close to the edge of the car door. She should have run to her friends or shouted for help.
For a moment he felt the momentum was going to work against him. He had lost grip.

She freed herself. She continued her journey ahead as if nothing had happened. She saw shadowy brink of the ledge looming close behind. He was right behind her. He was in no mood to let her off so easily. She should have cried for help. You learn more from your enemy than friend.

He had a big plan about her. If she had a little presence of mind the entire incident could have been averted. He paced his steps with hers, continued walking along, pleading, endearing, apologizing, and asking to go with him for a brief time. He had some important news to give. He was very earnest and convincing in his words. His voice was appealing.

She did not look. She behaved as if she heard nothing. She paid deaf ears to what he was telling. She walked ahead. She continued her journey to her home. She was hungry. She wanted to reach home. He talked a lot. He was smooth talking, persuasive in his own way to make his point, gist of it was that he would expose her in front of her friends, make a scene and defame her. Inside she flinched at what he would do. She was really worried. She continued to proceed ahead. She was unmindful of his visit at an odd hour. She continued the journey with a straight face. She thought she would reach the main road.

He repeated he would sure do so if she did not go with him. She did not listen to anything. He would loudly shout, collect, a mob and would reveal to them about the past relation. She continued going ahead. Inside she flinched. She perspired. She was nervous as hell. She went limp and nervous. She got nervous confused and afraid. She did not know how to get rid of him. She did not know what to do.

His voice sounded high, shaky but rose. He continued arguing, requesting entreating to go with him in the car. He wanted her to go with him to the hill. There was the cave, and that she was safe and sound with him. He would get her back home in no time. She was adamant.

All of a sudden his stopping surprised her. She flinched inside but kept a straight face. She was not sure what he was doing. She wanted to look back. She deliberately did not do so. He had his hands high raised and was shouting at the top of his voice, as if addressing a gathering.

He made loud voice,
He: "Listen, all of you listen!”
He: “Hear me! All of you hear me.”
He “This Girl is my girl.... She and I are long time lovers...”
He: “Now she has changed mind...”
He: “She now says she does not know me!”

Before he could complete the stunt, she raced back to him. It was an instantaneous impulse. She took him by the hand towards the car. She rather rushed to him to drag him in the car. She made him climb therein fast in a second. He was shocked he did not know what she wanted. She scrambled past him to the window seat with lightening speed as if a thunderbolt had hit. In a few moment, the car sputtered, bounced and moved in motion. The car turned the bumps smoothly as she happened to glance through the broad windshield and the odd glaze ahead. Now the car was running and it crossed over to the main road, and they were off to an unknown destination.



They rode in the police car from school to the main road on a June early afternoon in a gusty grey atmosphere, the sun playing game of hide and seek.
This unexpected incident, to her appraisal, had probably blown up, and shattered her well- planned career to rags. She had nobody who would come to her rescue in an emergency. All this happened in a few moments before anyone could realize what it was all about. His dramatic entry upset her, upset all her plans and her schedule. She was on her way to doom once again. Act in haste and repent in waste leisure.

She got upset, confused, did not know what to do in such a situation. Her concern was to save her from blasphemy, in front of her friends. She was worried.
She was afraid to be exposed in front of them. It is destiny. She now believed in it. She had no wish to be maligned, defamed, humiliated and shamed before her friends.
That was her circle of friends. She had her place of pride among them.

She: (to herself) “What would they think of me?”
She preferred on an impulse to go with him, confront him, with what he had to say. She decided to refuse him, return back and avoid a scandal.
She planted the feet firmly on the footboard to stop her nervousness. She tried hard to look casual.
She pressed her books tightly around her bosom. She was aghast with horror not knowing what was happening.
She preferred to allow nature to take its own course.
She had allowed destiny to decide her fate.
She had turned quite desperate by the turn of the events. She kept a straight angry face.
She bore hurt expression on her face. She was dazed. She wanted to be out of the city limit lest somebody might see them together.

She looked terrific in full bloom of early twenties. She was scared of a scandal. She was a reputed student of a reputed institution. She was afraid that her name would get linked with him. All would talk of her. What her friends would say if they knew that she had lay in his arms on an earlier occasion, her heart against his chest, head on his shoulder and with his head against hers. She would be a topic of gossip and discussion in the town. It would be a scandal. She expected the day ahead quite scaring, trying. She was afraid of a scandal. She did not care. She was surrounded by unexpected circumstance suddenly.
She firmly decided to confront him once and for all, cut all relation and connection. She wanted to sever all ties with him by being bold and blunt about everything. She wanted to put an end to everything. She resolved not to budge an inch.

He sat besides engrossed in his thought, not making any gesture to start any conversation. He was content she had agreed to go with him. He had won half the battle. The car was proceeding a head in full speed. Soon the main road would end. The car turned towards way to the hill. The road was crowded with other vehicles passing by. Except that the area was lonely. It seemed as if all her senses had been paralyzed by this hijacking incident. She was speechless. The car was not quite new but it seemed it was well kept and sturdy. It ran smoothly without noise. She was nervous.

There was now no other traffic on the road. She was debating with herself, whether she had acted right. She was engrossed in her own misery worry, how to get out of it. She had her gaze fixed on the passing trees on the road, which proved more of a diversion to her disturbed mind. She tried to concentrate, what to do but her mind refused to work.

He sat besides; his gaze fixed on other side of the window. He was engrossed in his own view and plan. He was the accuser of her chastity, virtue and character.
He continued to glance down at her once in a while. He preferred to be silent. He did not make any attempt to make any conversation. He was worried lest his words might spoil the game, which was advancing up till now in his favor. He thought better to keep quiet. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. He therefore chose to keep quiet.
It seemed he was happy the way things were moving. He was not at a loss so far. It seemed he was content that she agreed to go with him. He had almost half the game won. What he did not know was the fact that things were not going to be easy for him. Both made stolen glances at each other, surveying each other. Both gained time. Hostility was apparent on both faces. There was no scope of a reunion for the present. Tension was mounting in the atmosphere. It was difficult who would do what next. There was no chance of any truce.

The atmosphere was clouded with suspense.
Never could one remember potential for violence, bigger than it did today. Each one was taking guard, waiting, ready to explode, any moment. It was a question of time.

He was wrong to think that tension would ease in the moving car as the journey prolonged, as the day wore on. She was wrong if she thought he would let her go easily. It sure did not help any of them to quarrel in front of the driver in a moving car. Tempers were held in restraint, ever since both took seat in the car. The sun shined in the middle of the sky in the middle of the afternoon. She sucked in her breath and glanced around her in a disturbed state of mind.
His frame looked thick and burly difficult to be tackled by physical violence. Animosity between the two was hotter than fire. It was difficult to make any forecast. Both sat together, but apart by a few inch. Their mind were miles apart. Hatred was apparent in the atmosphere. There was no question of a truce between the two. Both openly glared at each other. Fire was raging in their eyes. Their gaze, movement, expression were becoming increasingly bold, alarmingly dangerous.

Anything may happen any moment. It was difficult to say which way the situation might turn. She had blundered in agreeing to go with him to an unknown destination. His posture was surprisingly confident and steady, and calm. He was sure of himself. This aspect of him demoralized her self-confidence to some extent. She braced herself to meet with any eventuality with a firm hand. It was sure; the confrontation was not going to be smooth, friendly. She had second thought. Fortunately or unfortunately, common sense dawned upon her. She thought, it was no use making a physical fight with the adversary. All sorts of ideas visited her mind. It was a battle of wits. She should change the tactics.

She should exhaust all her charm, use smiles. She should lure him, captivate him by her charm. She must appeal to his sentiment to disarm this stubborn brute. She was engaged in finding out ways and means how to tackle the situation. She made up her mind. She knew what had to be done. She sat ready about it. It was a question of a few minutes. She expected the car to stop in a while as the hill, rather mouth of the hill was fast approaching. She set tight clamping her hands in vain. She felt like a trapped animal. She had never placed herself in such a helpless situation.
Eyeing her with tenderness, he cleared his throat. He did not speak anything. He just looked at her. He sized her up surreptitiously. He wanted to ask her if she was all right. He thought better to keep quiet. They were nearing the mouth of the hill. He thought that everything would be fine. She just behaved as if she did not know him. He did not exist. His posture was erect, confident, shoulders squared, spine rigid. The car came to a halt. The engine noise died. There was silence. He waited. He stepped out.. His heart was beating fast at the risk he had undertaken. One mistake and the consequences would be disastrous.

He eased up on to the sidewalk. She moved out behind him, slamming the door shut. She straightened herself to her full height. He took books from her and put them in his overnight bag. He thanked the driver and gestured him to be off. Both were at the feet of the hill. He had a sack, which he thrust it in her hand to carry. She took it.

It was as a reflex action. They marched towards the steps to the hill. He carried the overnight bag. On way he stopped to buy eatables, carried packets with him. He stuffed them in his bag.

He shoved all his things in his overnight bag. They were together, taking walk towards the hill. Both were silent. Both were engrossed in their thought. Both were intent upon scoring over each other finding a suitable opportunity. They were soon in the woods. The steps were over, in the first phase of the journey. They now entered a flat ground of the woods surrounded by green trees with ground full of dry leaves. She carried the sack, followed him almost trotting, almost exhausted and tired. She was walking at slow pace. It was a grey day. It was a sultry day.
The air proceeded to take upon itself momentary snap of autumn, though it was June. The weather was too close, to breathe. It was a day of clouds. It might rain any time. It was rather a grey afternoon. Dark storm clouds rolled over their head, at times blocked the sun. She had heard the guy on the radio announcing that there was chance of ninety- percent rains. She remembered the warning. She did not care. She was desperate. She was doomed. She was caught in his trap. She was the sacrificial lamb. She had committed a grave mistake by acting on an impulse. She had placed herself in his grip. She was destined to be his slave for life. Her ruin was imminent hundred percent.
He walked ahead of her a few yards in distance. His posture was calm and confident, and assured. He looked a handsome brute with devil-may-care attitude, policeman like expression on his face.

He was tall elegant and imposing. His shoulders were imposing. His complexion was not white. It was tanned. His strides were long but slow and relaxed. He had long legs. Beneath the color warp, gray weft denim shirt, and trousers of faded jeans, his body was superbly muscled.

He looked more like an athlete. His shoulders were wide. His height was about six feet. His chest was thick. His voice was thick husky and commanding. His head towered half a foot above hers, making her look tiny, fragile and small before him. His face was tight and gaunt, hawk like pleasing to the eyes. His brow was wide. His eyes were expressive expressing anger at her at present. His face was intriguing, harshness apparent in his eyes which were piercing and turned narrow when he looked at her. He had expected her to yield to his command. His eyes changed expression, every now and then, sometimes mocking, sometimes loving and caring. He was a difficult obstinate type of a fellow difficult to tackle. A hint of smile used to appear at the corner of the lips when he was on to achieving his goal. Up till now things were going in his favor. This is what he thought to himself. Whether he was right or not time would decide.
He glanced back over his shoulder. She was not far off. He tried to give her a smile in an attempt to reassure her. She wanted to return that smile with almost a growl accompanied by a curse and an insult, or more likely both. It was a matter of time now. Boiling point had reached. Both were engaged in sizing up each other, measuring strong and weak points. Both were ready. It was apparent that both were well matched. Both were well prepared. Both were sure.

Both were difficult. Both were adamant. Both were firm in their resolve. Both were prepared to confront each other. Both were engrossed in their own view.

She inhaled fresh air in quick gasps. She was about to surrender herself to sit for some time. She was tired. She desired to stop to sit somewhere. She wished to take rest. Instinct told her not to do so. The adversary may view it as her surrender. She thought better to continue to walk further. All her strength was used up and she was quite tired. He too appeared tired. He stopped, waiting for her to join. The cave was on the up hill. To his front were the twelve platform stages of pedestrian path to be climbed to reach the cave. She after a few minutes was walking stumbling besides him tired and exhausted. She missed her step and might stumble down. He lurched towards her. His arm reached out in front of her. She saw him coming. He tried to support her, ready to take her in his arms. On the other hand, she was ready for a dual. She wanted a chance.

She sort of pushed him back. His nostrils were flaring, eyes almost closed, and otherwise speechless. She measured him. She was on a do-or-die mood to save her. She re-acted fast, much faster, beyond his imagination. She jumped upon him fiercely. She wished to die and done with. She kicked him in his front. She hit him between the legs. It was an unexpected attack on him. The head-on collision toppled them both. He knew not what was happening.

He could not anticipate what she was about. She was straddling his waist. She was kicking, clawing, and punching. She was hitting and she bit her teeth into the raw flesh of his hand, red teeth marks marred the back of his hand. He felt defeated. He flinched. He winced. On an impulse he slapped her on the face. He had to do so. She flew in the air and hit the ground with a bang. She was a wild cat difficult to handle. He glared. She glared. Both glared. Both were thirsty of each other’s blood. He was taken aback.

He was confused. He reconsidered his approach. This was no ordinary lass he was with. Physical force would not yield to anything. Brutal force had failed. He wanted to think some safe way to tackle her without force. His body also pained. He suffered a set back. Yes! the emotional approach. He changed plan. He, the master was required to perform role of a humble servant.
He: (said to himself) This is the only way to win her. He changed his attitude. He was a humble servant ready to carry out her orders now and he was at her command.
She on her part was angry, real angry. She got shattered and exhausted not knowing what to do. She was breathing hard, rattled, close to tears. She realized herself.

When she was young, she had once happened to come to the cave. She was about fifteen at that time. There were not as many people and houses on that side. The geography of the side, and the singularity of the hill, the cave were far more noticeable then. It was not so today. She felt the road to there was very long and tiring. She had to get up herself from the ground with a start. Pain was too much.

She kept a straight face. Both had recovered after the dual. Both had subsided. Both walked side by side. Both were engrossed in their mood. Both behaved. Both were oblivious of each other’s existence. Both were helpless. Both wanted a way out. They walked like this for quite a while. The heat had drawn fine beads of sweat across her face. Drops of the sweat shined in the light of the day. Moisture had gathered in the cleft of her blouse between the two breasts. Damp shadows of dark patches were visible under her armpits. Seeing her any one would have devil’s thought in his mind.

Nobody knew who would speak first. Color had drained from her cheeks. She felt herself empty and useless. Her feet hurt. She needed a rest very badly. She was pale and ghastly. Her feet buckled. She was at her wit’s end. She wanted to end the game. She could not go on like this.
She was exhausted. She thought to address him. She decided. She would break the silence. She thought it better.
She was at her wits’ end. She kept a stern face.
She glared at him in an outrage, her hands on her hips, her face red with anger. When aroused she was a splendid combination of her royal parentage and docile mother’s angry self. She shook her head vigorously as if in disapproval of the whole episode. She burst out. The goon expected her to be reasonable and co-operate him in his outrageous scandal! What a fool he was! He had taken her for granted! She had never to cope up with such a silly fellow with such an outrageous way of chasing her. She thundered. She exploded.

She: “Why did you come?”
She: “Why did you malign me in front of my friends?”
She: “What business you have got to carry me like this without my consent?”
She: “What is all this?”
She: “Is this a gentleman’s way to behave? Are you not ashamed?”

The words rained down on him like severe blows. However he did not lose calm. He continued absentmindedly without looking at her.
He: “I missed you. I love you.”
She: “Love!” “You, and love!” “You, beast!”
She: “Drop me back to my place.” “You have no right to take me with you by brutal force. I am nothing to you.” She stopped.
He: “Bear with me.” “We are going a safe place.”
“We’ll iron out the differences.”

She: “No!” “So far, so further.”
She” “Now no far, no further.”
She: “I go back.” “Take me back.” “I should not have come with you at all.”
He: “You did come with me. Is not it dear?”
She: “Do not address me with any intimacy”. “I ‘m nothing to you.”
She: “Take me back”. “Do you hear me?”
He: “You liked to come.” “You‘ve liked me.”
She: “Yes.” ”Only to get you out of my friends’ vision.”
She: “If my friends heard what you spoke, what would they think of me?”
He: “What would they think?”
She: “They’d think you are crazy!”
He: “That I am.” “But I do not think they would think so.”


He: ”They would say it was lovers’ quarrel.”
(She takes a deep breath. She stopped to think to make a speech, how to get rid of him.)

She: “Let me say, it was alright.”
She: “I am willing to call bygones, bygones.”
She: “I am willing to forget this incident.”
She: ”Take me back”.
She: “I’ll forgive you”
She: “Give me a break!”
He: “I agree. I’ll do as you say. I’ll give you a break. “I‘ll take you back.”
She: “I do not believe you any more.”
He: “I swear. I take you back this moment. Really I wanted to be with you. It is done. I am thankful. This is enough for me. You are what I had dreamt nights after nights.”
She: “No more bluffs. Take me back.”
He: “I am sorry. I acted on an impulse. I should not have done this. I am sure you’ll pardon me. I promise. I swear. I’ll never do so again. I know I am not a refined guy.”
He: “You know I am a primitive. You have to change me. You have to make me a civilized guy of your type. You are my only hope. You are my life. You are my everything. I’ll die. I’ll jump. I’ll do as you say. I am your humble servant. I know you can make a real man of me. You are my Lord! You are my master. Take me or leave me.”
She: “Why me? There are so many others who may accept you. I do not want to be with you. Leave me alone. Take me back. I am ready to forget everything.”
He: “You are my girl. God gave you to me. How can I leave you?”


She: “What has got into your thick head? Why don’t you understand? We are not meant for each other. We both go different ways. I am east. You are west. The Twain shall never meet.” “East wind shall prevail over West wind.”
He: “Women are meant to be loved. Never to be understood.”
She: “Idiot! How I hate you! I detest you. Take me back. I tell you last time.”
( She takes a few steps away from him. She stops on the side of the way.)
He: “Hey! What has got unto you? Why are you not walking? We have to go long.”
(She starts walking. Numb. Statue but she resumes walking carrying the sack.
She speaks as if to herself.)
She: “How did he expect me to react? to fall in his arms?”
He: “How’d I know? May be.”
She: “I am sorry to disappoint you. I hate you for everything.”
He: “I am not disappointed. This is fine with me. Just walk.”
(She stops.)
She: “You know? What happens next?”
He: “How’d I know?”

She: “We shake hands. We part as friends. That is what happens next.”
He: (He nodded.) “Yes. I agree. Remember I loved you. You can not leave me in the woods like this. I will die. I will jump over the hill and kill myself.”
He: “I can not live without you. I love you. I have not looked at any one except you. You are everything for me. If you will reject me where will I go?”

He: “It is better to die than to live without your love.” “I have no where else to go.”
He: “Why don’t you understand?”
He: “I have no one except you.”
He: “You are my everything.”
He: “What is life without you?”
He: “I will sure die without you.”

(She bursts into tears involuntarily. She turns away her face to hide the tears. She hates herself for putting herself in such vulnerable condition. She stares into the woods blankly. She hopes someone might rush to her rescue and save her. Nothing happens.)

He: “What all this dramatics means? Why are you so unkind to me?”
(She is full of rage. She is red with anger.)
She: “You fool! You can’t take things for granted. I don’t love you. You can’t...”
(Incomplete)
He: “I had to find out.”
She: “What!”
He: “That you do love me.”
She: “If I loved you I would have let you know since we were last together. Much has happened since but there is no love. Now do you understand? If I loved you,” “You would have known. I would have cared for you.”
He: “Would you?”
She: “Yes.”
(She faces him. Looks him up. Her face is red and flushed.) You we’d have known.
He: “How? How w’d I know?”
She: “Idiot! You could have known, seen. We are not clever to hide it. You had to look.”



(She felt she should have kept quiet. She should not have spoken.) Any way done is done. Now it could not be undone. The damage was done.
(He looks now. He looks closely.)
(To her utter surprise, she finds that, what she uttered was quite true. A woman can not hide her feelings.)
(He was seeing love now. He did what he was required to do. He kissed her.) She did as the girls do. Say "No" and take it. She gave him an upward look, her eyes dilated, she caught her breath. She turned about. She was transparent with love. He could see. He caught hold of her hand. He turned her towards him. He was fast and efficient. She shrank back a little. He took her hand, raised to his lips and kissed. Her shrinking ceased. She seemed to tremble towards him. . Sweet warmth overtook them both from head to toe. It seemed she was pleased at the touch of his lips. Yielding to an impulse, he drew her close to him. He was a veteran.


He put his arms around her, pressed her to him hard, real hard and kissed. She went pale. She closed her eyes; her eyelashes lay on her cheeks. Her hands lay inert at her sides.
Should she stop at once? Or let this go on? She was aware that if she took no action now, later it might be not so easy. She thought she could come to like him. She felt stirring of desire within her. They were kissing and she returned the pressure of his lips. The tip of his tongue came lightly into her mouth. She met it with her tongue tip and it had a really tingling effect. He tightened his arms around her. She felt his thighs pressing tighter. His hands were moving, caressing her back.



The right one dropped lower, the hand passed lightly over the back of her skirt. Then more heavily, each caress pulling her more closer. She felt the bulkiness. It stirred. She knew that this was the moment to break away otherwise, anything could be a certainty. The touch of her breasts with his chest was sensational It sent wild quivers in her body. He sighed. He released her. She was relieved.
Again he took her fiercely in his arms. He embraced her fiercely. He thrust his lips over hers wildly. He kissed savagely. He opened the lips. He was doing an excellent job. This time her hands were not inert; they went around his shoulders by reflex action. The tongues met. Both drank each other’s saliva in full. They liked each other.
Both were aroused. Both were unaware of what was happening to them. Both were excited. Both are kissing hard, harder and harder. Time is standing still. Wind is standing still.
World is standing still. Atmosphere is standing still. Sun was standing still.
After an eternal embrace and prolonged kiss he let her free to breathe. They were happy.
(She moves back , turns her face towards the trees wipes her mouth and utters )
She:“ You are hell of a man I have ever seen. You should not have done that.”
He: “Did n’t you like it?”
She: “What did you expect? I w’d fall at your feet? No! Never!”
He. “How w’d I know? I don’t know what happens next.”
She: “I know what happens next. We bid good bye.”
He: (frowns). “Alright! As you say.”
She: “I allowed you to kiss. Now let me go.”
He: “You can go. Let us walk a further.”
She: “This is nice of you. I don’t mind we kissed. I don’t mind you or blame you for anything. Every man is susceptible to temptation. Now let me go. I want to be back. I promise I’ll always remember you.”
He: “You can go. Thanks for everything. I ‘ll. go alone to the hill and jump overboard.”
He: “That is the punishment I deserve. I want to die. What is life without you?”
She: “I’m sorry. I do not love you. Why don’t you understand? You will not get a medal if you jumped and killed. So why be mad and kill you? Why not live!”
He: He rushes to her. “Really? Do you want me to live?”

He takes her in his arms, presses her tightly against him as if to break her into pieces. He crushes her violently to his chest. He kisses her like a hungry beast. His embrace is so fierce that she melts into his hands. This time she does not protest. She is one with him.
It appears she wanted him to love so fiercely. After a long, long kiss and a long embrace he sets her free to breathe. They are now onto a large garden of trees.
She: “I can not believe myself. How I came this far with you.”
He: “On your tiny feet. One foot after another on the dry leaves, over the bridge.”
He: “Now we are passing the garden. All have added up. The steps.”
She “I have got to go back, man!”
He: Al right! “Say good-bye. And here you go!”
She: “Every time I say good bye, I get kissed.”
(He goes to a nearby stone bench. He sits.)
He: “Come. Princess! Sit.”
She: “No.”
He: “I won’t touch. I swear.”
(She sits down on the bench but on the far corner end away from him. Quite away.)
She put, placed the sack in between. She closes her eyes, relaxing, daydreaming. Both were sitting on the same bench oblivious of each other’s presence. She remembered her classmate telling her that she had lost all serious contenders due to her vanity; she was a pampered spoilt little girl. She advised her to take a stupid boy and train him her way. According to her friend she had already missed the bus. All boys were selected. She had smiled to herself and dismissed such a thought with a jerk of her head. She was not ready to believe she had missed the bus. She was so sure of herself.
She inhaled fresh air. She continued to inhale deeply. She took off her sandals reclining back rather stretching her back; she wriggled her toes in joyous freedom. She rubbed her feet. She wished she had some water. She avoided asking him.
She leaned back and closed her eyes. A little shuteye would help. She is engrossed in her world of happiness. She is glowing. Her face shines. She is silent. Sex lies in the eyes. Beauty lies in the face and grace lies in the frame. Everything is there for the earthquake to happen. The dynamite is all ready to ignite. Only a flicker of flame would do it.
He: Relax. “You need rest.”
She behaves as if she did not hear.
(She closed her eyes. She relaxed. Both relaxed. Both tried to sleep. He yawns and sleep. She too takes a nap. After quite a while she opens up her eyes.

She found him sleeping soundly. She moved close to him. She eyed him with new respect. She watched him, did not do anything to disturb him. After a while, he moves a little. She nudges.)
She could not believe herself that she had missed the bus in her life to find a school-boy as a life partner. It was very alarming. The thought of finding a stupid one and train him as per her way was haunting her. To her Jimmy seemed a perfect stupid one. He needed to be trained as per her way. The very thought of bringing this egoistic roughrider to her heels began to delight her. What a brilliant idea to torment him! How lovely to end the evening with him enough to entreat and plead; then slam the door in his face! She was engrossed in her calculations. She was in her reverie and muttering to herself. She came out of her thoughts with a jerk.

She: “Get up, get up, it is almost evening. I want to go. I am due to be at home.”
(He rubs his eyes. He stares at her wide-eyed.)
She: “What are you staring at me? Have you not seen me? as if you seeing me first time.” She scolded him mildly.
(He stands up. He does not reply. He carries the over-night bag and moves on the road on his way to the hill without a word.) He was in control of the situation.
She stands up. She advances further. She is thinking debating with herself. She is in two minds debating what to do, to follow or not to follow. She wanted to decide to retreat or to follow. She carries the sack and follows.


They reach half way to the hill. He takes a turn on a secluded small path, side way of a narrow strip. She does not protest. She does not bicker. She seemed reconciled. She does not grumble. She follows. The weather was mild.

Sun played hide and seek continually from behind a patch of grey white cloud. There was no hint of rain. Sky looked yellow. Light wind was blowing. The atmosphere was pleasant romantic.

Atmosphere invited love, reunion. No difference, no quarrel. Difference melted into each other, one forgiving the other. Both sacrificed their grievance. Both longed to be in the embrace of each other. So was the force of nature. Both fell victims to it. Birds were in the nest making love. Our two birds also wanted to reach the nest in haste. They now came to the temple on way to the cave. They bye-passed it, wanting to reach the cave as soon as they could. They crossed the woods. They breathed deeply. They were tired; exhausted.
The journey was an uphill task. It was necessary to be careful; cautious. He takes a turn sideways still to a narrow strip of path, of steps. She saw him. She wonders where he is going. She follows.

She advanced further behind him. Weather is mild. Light wind is blowing. She felt. All this blended together created an atmosphere of bliss and happiness. It was a sight to see crunch of her joints as moved on the dry leaves making a creaking noise. The wind blew all of a sudden; her white frock curled up her waist like an umbrella. Her upper part was moist with perspiration, with darkened patches under her armpits, revealing a silhouette of her body.

The Sun was playing hide and seek. It looked as if it might rain any moment. They hoped it might not rain till they safely reached the abode. They thought. Light wind rustled branches of the trees. Atmosphere was pleasant. He attempted to see through corners of the eyes. He could not spot her. He turned his neck in a startled manner worried.

He found her trotting behind little far off at slow pace. He reduced his strides almost trotting to be in pace with her. He slowed his march. He was in gay mood whistling lightly merrily as he headed along the ridge towards the cave. He was in high spirits. He felt like stopping to take a gulp of wine. He thought better not to do so. She may not like it. She might not come further. At this rate he expected to reach the cave within the next half-hour. His feelings were aroused. He was floating in the air. He was on top of the world. Events had taken place as he had planned and as per schedule.

He looked forward to take her in his arms once again all the way all the while removing all barriers and boundary created by the society. He longed to be one with her, melt into her once and for all time to come. He longed to caress her tiny body with his hungry fingers. He longed to see her frame without any clothes. He dreamt. He wanted to see her whole body by his naked eyes. He dreamt.

He wanted to eat her, devour her like a hungry beast he was in the real sense of the term. Last time his hands had felt a touch of her body but the eyes had not set its sight on her vital parts. The unfinished task was to be completed.


He wanted to be careful and see that things did not get spoilt in the last leg of the journey. If things went all right he dreamt of spending the whole night in her company- a rare opportunity no human being could hope to aspire in his lifetime.

She followed him at slow pace. The heath and bracken brushed beneath her tiny feet, again the wind caught the skirts of the frock, bellowed like an umbrella revealing her thighs clad in white panties.

He had a glimpse of blotches of perspiration and the darkened black patches under the armpits. He was moved to see her so tired and fatigued. He wanted to lift her in hands. Her hair was dark brown frame of ribbon curls flying behind as she moved. Sky was blue. She was seeing him going ahead. She was following him. At last they reached vicinity of the cave. They were relieved. They were happy.

She too was out of breath fatigued and tired to proceed further. He continued climbing uphill towards the mouth of the cave.

She: “Wait.”
She: “Wait for me.”
She shouted. She signaled with one hand raised.
She called out aloud. Her face perspired. Her voice got blown away in the wind.

He did not hear. When they reached gate of the cave, rather the entrance, she was utterly exhausted. She had worn out. She stumbled in her steps and would have fallen down had he not anticipated the same and rushed to her, lifted her up in his arms before she could fall on the ground.

He had seen her coming. He was alert and ready. He had seen her steps buckling and faltering, she would have a fall had he not run to her rescue. He dropped his bag and grabbed her in his arms for eternity for all lives to come in perpetuity and for all times to come. Both remained in each other’s arms for quite a while. Her breasts gasped heaved and tightened in touch with his chest.

He sighed. He let her go. A bird chirped on the nearby tree. She felt it as a sign of good omen.
She took his hand. She took it to her cheeks. She kissed it in appreciation of his coming to her rescue.

As if suddenly ashamed, her face was red hot with love and lust, she fled to the other side on pretext of fresh air. He moved to explore the cave. She wished he would follow and take her.
He adjusted the sack and the overnight bag in a corner, went out, collected some branches of the trees and made a sort of a broom out of the stems and leaves. She saw him leave.

He cleaned the floor removing the dust and the leaves and made it inhabitable. She dropped herself in one corner on a piece of stone served as a place of sitting. She sat on it in the semi darkness of the front portion of the cave. She was dog-tired almost with no strength left in her. He proceeded to examine the mouth of the inner part of the cave. A big stone was hurled up on its mouth. He saw. She saw. He surveyed the things for a while. He debated with himself. He moved out on the outside and returned with a log of a wood, serving purpose of a pole. She saw him.

He wedged the pole in the hole and used all his strength to remove the piece of stone that blocked the mouth. He tried. The piece of heavy stone did not budge. She continued looking.
He pressed log to the side of the hole using it as a lever to force out the stone. She saw it. The stone did not move. Instead the log of wood made a creaking noise; a creak like noise, gave away the grip and it broke away into two pieces over-throwing him with one piece of log in his hand. She could not help, burst out of laughter, at the sight seeing him succumbed to the floor with a mighty thud. He fell full length flat on the floor. He was sweating and was wet with perspiration. His body ached with pain.

His elbows got scratched. He was not disheartened. He was determined. He rose and moved out to find a sturdy piece of a log. There was an untold type of stamina and strength in him.
He inserted a new log in the hole and applied his full force to open it up. She saw it. She clasped her hands as if to encourage him. She stood up to cheer him up.
Her breath was held up seeing him; his whole frame was hanging on the pole.

He was wrong. It was a waste. She argued that the front portion of the cave was enough for their brief stop over. There was no need to strain to open the mouth of the cave by removing a huge stone, which had firmly embedded in the hole. She called it a waste and asked him to stop. She made a last effort to stop him. He was undeterred. He put the log in the hole with fresh measurement and hanged on to it in full length. She rose from her seat ran to him, she joined.



She: “Go on, I think I saw the stone move a bit.” She encouraged him.
He: “I know. I felt it too.” He replied back.
With encouragement from her it seemed his strength had doubled.
She went to help him. Both hanged on to the pole. Both joined in the mission.
Result. The big stone moved and toppled down. Both also toppled down upon each other.
The hole led to an inner place. Both could not conceal excitement.
He: “Look! There is an inner room”
He wanted to enter the inner part. He waited and surveyed the things. He shouted and asked her to come with broom. She entered the cave with the made-up broom. He cleaned, collected all leaves and dust making it inhabitable for the night.
Both came out exhausted, faces full of dust like chimneysweepers.

Their knees had gone stiff for want of proper leg movement. They were on their way to reach the top to move out. She shivered. She wavered. He was behind her. He noticed.
He: “Hey!” “You are out of air!”
He cried, sympathy oozing from him.
He put his hands around her. She clung to him fiercely, not attempting to shrink. Their knees were stiff. While slipping out of the hole, he staggered.
The girl behind gave a deep gasp and held out her hand. He took it. He wanted to kiss it but he refrained himself. Both came close to each other. She offered her shoulder as a support. He leaned on her. Both came out, short of air.


He: “Let us go out. The sun is still in the sky.”
She did not wait. There is a brook nearby. They moved out in the open. They heaved a sigh of relief. She said to herself that she would never go back in the inner part. She would like to spend her time in the open lobby. She was afraid to go in the inner cave. Her sixth sense refused her to go in.

GINNIE the GEM. By: Arvin dRay.

-Table of Contents.-

Chapter 1 THE FLASHBACK
Chapter 2 FOOLS RUSH IN WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO .
Chapter 3 SLOW AND THE STEADY WINS THE RACE
Chapter 4 THE TACTLESS FELLOW.
Chapter 5 THE ROUGH AND THE TOUGH
Chapter 6 THE MODEST ONE.
Chapter 7 Oh! Boy! THY NAME IS JEALOUSY.
Chapter 8 THEIR WAY OF LOVE.
Chapter 9 INDIRECT TORTURING.
Chapter 10 SO THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Chapter 11. A RARE JEWEL OF BEAUTY.
Chapter 12 STORY OF A JEWEL OF BEAUTY.
Chapter 13 . THE TALL GIRL
Chapter 14 . LOST OPPORTUNITIES
Chapter 15 NINE DAYS’ WONDER.
Chapter 16 THE FOOD WE EAT.
Chapter 17 MIND IS A VAIN MONKEY.
Chapter 18 HOW TO CULTIVATE GOOD MEMORY.
Chapter 19 DO NOT KILL DUMB ANIMALS.
Chapter 20 OUR PROGRESS.
Chapter 21 INFANTICIDE.
Chapter 22 CONCLUSION
Chapter 23 HOW THE MAIDEN BURNT HER PALM.




PAST- PAST- PAST. IN EVERY FIELD PAST RE-APPEARS IN ENLARGED FORM.

Past holds the future, it repeats itself in the present. History repeats, People do not take lesson from it. Past comes back again. It is a burden on the present, and future. It is hovering on our head. None can escape past memory. It comes back over and again. We live in past memory. There is no present, no future-only the past, happening again. It appears in an enlarged improved edition. One never forgets incidents of the past. They are fresh as if they happened yesterday. Life is short and events are many. Whether you want it or not, it follows you like a shadow. You can’t shed it. It is interwoven in you. Shed it. Yesterday has gone, Today is with us. Tomorrow may not come. We should finish our tasks today without delay. Time and Tide wait for none. The present tense belongs to us. Whatever the past may have been, it is a glorious past. What is gone is gone, Let bye-gone be bye-gone. That’s all. We have to live in the present. We have left past far behind. Our life exists in the present. We should make the most of it. We do not do this. If we try, we can do it. It can be done. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today we have to enjoy every moment of Life.


Today is our time. Yesterday is gone. “Make hay when the Sun shines”. Life is short and work is much. Life will be colorful if you kept busy. Every hour hurts; the last one swoons. Therefore rise above and get to work. Work is worship. Work is life. Wok is activity. Wise ones stick to the present. Only the fools waste the time. Philosophers and writers write about the Past. The wise ones think of today. Persons with practical outlook live in present. They do not bother what past was. Present belongs to us. This is the gist of life. Throw away the past. Rise up. Can you do it? If so, you have won everything. There will be success in your efforts.

The females have understood and accepted the above truth in its real sense. It is seen that the ladies do not bother about their past. In most of the cases, most of the ladies, we know of, they do not remember the past. Let us admit that the females have a way of living in the present. Take for example, her life before marriage. Since early childhood she has her eyes on the future. She has accepted the task to win you over. After you are conquered, you are reduced to an object, one of the many factors in her life. You are captured. Now you become secondary. She has got what she wanted. Everything else is to come, namely, sons, daughters son-in-laws, household, new wardrobe, social position, etc. These other factors are more pressing. You become an object to decorate the drawing room. Your existence is taken for granted. You are an object in her entire collection. You are a trophy, an achievement of the past. On the other hand, she lives in the present. When she married, she shed her past, like the serpent, that sheds its skin.




She is reborn. She became a blank piece of paper on which she writes her life afresh. She accepts the new life as a challenge. She absorbs herself in her new journey of life. She enjoys every moment. She transforms herself to an unbelievable extent. She is one with the new atmosphere. She adopts the ways of life of a different family as if it were her own. She accepts the role of a wife with ease and grace. This is the beauty of it. She came, she saw, she conquered. That’s it. We are her tools to make use of, and when needed, we have to mend her problems.

THE BACKGROUND.

She was aghast with horror, when her mother died. She had cried for days. She remembered her childhood days. She used to cling to her mother’s skirts, seeing her in working dress ready, to go to poppy- fields. Finally, her mother used to take her. Her mother was a machine. Her daily hours were to get up, early, when sun did not rise. She would finish her morning formalities. She cooked food, placed it in a sort of a lunch box. She would hurry for work. She used to eat when the sun was in the middle of the day. Her mother was the in-charge of the entire poppy fields spread over miles unto miles, on the outskirts of Mountain Heights. Her word was final.

Mother had mastery in secreting sticky liquid from the fallen petal. It was collected in earthen bowls. It was allowed to sun-dry. The moisture would dry out and it would turn out the black gold, the opium lump.


Poppy plants were grown in the fields spread miles unto miles, extended to both side of the river, flowing from the hills, passing through woods. The old castle at the top of the hill proved a shelter for mother, and all, working in the fields in this region. There were hundreds of workers plucking the petal and incising them, as taught and trained by her.

She kept account of everything. She used to move in the fields. From the hill, from the heights of the windows of the fort, she kept an eye on everything going on in the area. This is the story prior to the reforms when the princely states were lords and masters in their respective states. Prince James had inherited these fields from his elder brother Sir Jones Inigo. They used to grow poppy plants in the valleys behind the mountains extended to lush forest and meadow where cows were grazing and some sat, chewing, churning their morsels. Deer and rabbits were seen running here and there. From the sticky juice from poppy- petal came the substance with immense power to stimulate pleasure, cause numbness of the brain. Use of opium was moving among the princely states like plague.

The scene reflects life in Europe in the early part of the last century. The people were moderately advanced in the stages of life. The kingly states lost their kingdom in pursuit of horse races, bullfights, keeping harems and consuming opium. Since birth, the prince child was administered liquid opium.


By the time he turned an adult, he turned out a confirmed opium-eater, an addict. Taking opium was symbolic, a matter of pride. It was a status symbol to serve liquid opium in the courtroom to their office bearer and guests. It led them to their way to financial physical and mental ruin. This craze was crazy enough for the innocent victim’s friends and families of opium consumers, crime victims and those who unknowingly became involved in it. For ages nations have been consuming these items in different forms. It begins with a mild stimulant. Thereafter the journey of its intake progresses to more serious stages. Ultimately it gets transformed into a killer-drug.

There was an army of workers, contractors, transporters, landing agents, engaged in this job. Everything was done with the final permission from her mother. She would be moving in fields, supervising the workers. From the heights of the castle windows, she kept an eye on anything and everything. They were collecting opium from poppy petal twelve hours straight and she would not be tired. She was a female robot slaving from early morning till nightfall. She would come to the house to bathe, eat sleep and back to work, next morning. Mother used to return home late evening for her ritual bath food and sleep. This was her life. Her life was her work.

Last evening, she waited for her to return, to see her staggering to the kitchen, after a hurried bath. She had not come till mid night, as she knew of. Thereafter sleep had engulfed her. She did not know what happened. She woke next morning finding mother’s bed empty and not slept. She was about to move out of the house. There was a knock.




The men from the estate were there. They gently broke the news. Mother had fallen down from the stony stairs. She fell all the way down. She missed the step and the tragedy had struck. By the time the co-workers saw her, they took her to a side and sprinkled water on her fainted face. The estate supervisor and a doctor had come who declared, that it was no use to sprinkle water on her, as she was dead. Both had to run to hospital in a frantic state of mind. What they saw at the hospital was a lifeless form of her mother. All the friends and admirers and relations had gathered at the hospital as they came to learn about the tragic accident. She was full of sobs and tears.

Her mother got recognition and high honor from the palace. Hundreds from the estate, and the local dignitary attended the memorial service. She was honored, by giving special tributes, about her whole life devoted to the society, for her performance and managing the trade, all by herself. She felt relieved that she was present at her mother’s death at the hospital and the funeral. It was an occasion as if the sad demise belonged to some family-member of the palace. Crowd of known faces of the town were there, to mourn for her death.

Her mother was a tough lady to deal with. She had character and virtue. She was anxious to help others. She deserved a grand funeral. He had come, but he was tied up with making arrangement. The work of looking after the mourners and providing them with requirement kept him sufficiently engaged. Show must go on.


That was the value and dignity of work in this part of the world. He did not show emotions, nor did he take notice of mother’s absence. He did not tell her anything. He did not tell her to be brave and that she should not lament and all that. He did not say anything to her about God’s will and all those comforting sentence. He hugged her and silently left with a heavy heart. He looked after everything, the funeral, the arrangement for service etc. He took charge of everything that demanded immediate attention. Still waters run deep. He now retired very late in the night staggering on his feet to go to bed with boots and the clothes to be awake next morning. He opened a grocery shop in the lower part of the house. He was keeping him busy in the grocery store haggling with the customers. He used to return to his place dog-tired to go to sleep. After mother’s death he had started drinking and smoking. He had not returned to the abstinence mother had taught. It was a topic he did not enjoy discussed in his presence. He now did not play cards, as was his favorite hobby once upon a time.
He had grown moody and melancholy. He had changed for better or worse, time would decide. Mother had adopted him since he was five years of age. It is said that his parents were leading marine merchants. His father used to travel overseas in his ships with costly trade item. Once he was near Panama Canal, his ship was captured by the sea-pirates of the Caribbean waters. Thereafter there was no news of him. His wife died out of shock and conjugal separation. Mother adopted him since then and he lived with them helping mother in odd jobs. He was about a few years elder to her.

Their house was a six acre, an ancestral house left by her grandfather, an ancestral estate. There was a kitchen, a storeroom, a bathroom and a lobby adjacent to the shop and two sleeping rooms with a large lobby, above the staircase. She occupied one, since mother was alive. In the opposite, distant room mother used to sleep in the big room facing her daughter. The ancestral house was the only asset left as a token of gift of ancestors. This was all they had. The house was solid built, sturdy and secure. It was safe like a castle. It had a large field with trees. They had cows horses and a mare, few dogs as their pets, poultry and other birds.

Once they were inside they were secure and safe with no worries of outer world. It provided shelter with reasonable amenities for a decent living. Life was good and happy. This sort of life went on for quite a while. Time passed by quickly. One does not know winter summer or rainy season when one is happy. She received a fixed lump sum from the palace every month for maintenance and education expenses. Her studies progressed well. She missed mother’s absence. She had lost, shelter, her love, her care for her. She was alone in this world. She cried many a times missing her mother. Time is a healing agent. Time and tide waits for none. Time is the biggest challenge.

She had a splendid life in the days of her adolescence, It was essentially a life of pleasure. She began to care for her body. She liked to see herself in the mirror often. She learnt to tidy herself by instinct. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

He : - Princess!”
His tone reflected, rotated, echoed, screeched, all over the house. It came from the depths of the kitchen, behind the grocery store on the ground floor, all the way up the stairs reaching to her room to her ears. His shout made her full awake. Her senses got concentrated as if apprehending some catastrophe. May be it could be a premonition, a sixth sense, whatever you call it.

He: -“Get up. It is noon. I am coming with your tea.”
The tone of the man, she had occasion to know and hear repeatedly, was different today. She made a fool of this man for long. She broke his heart by being rude when he came up for amends and seeking intimacy. She believed in her mother’s advice that men were no good. Men were not to be trusted by heart. His voice made her uneasy. She was alarmed. She had all sorts of doubts and worries. She was not interested in his charm and sex appeal. He was not her class. But mother thought differently. She feared that something was cooking between the two. Mother in the meantime as things would have it, happened to come across a page in her note-book. Mother wanted an excuse to drive him out of the house. The note written in her tiny hands was as under:-

"He is so handsome, when he laughs! When he looks with his eye-balls up in the sky, I am sure he is dazed of me. He is such a darling and so good! He is happy and surprised that I am not a bit superficial as I look. He must have grown to love me as a friend. That is enough for the time being. I have just jotted down whatever came to my mind. I have the feeling that he and me share a secret. We look at each other only when mother is not around. In mother's presence we do not know each other. If he looks at me with those eyes which wink and laugh, a little light lights within me giving me happiness. I hope it remains like this forever. There must be something he has guessed about me. He certainly can not love me as I appear. He does not know the inner me. I doubt if he is able to look beyond and penetrate the concrete-armor I am wearing to project a different self to the world. Will he ever reach there? It is said love often springs from pity. Will it happen? No I don't love him. I only want to talk to him and pass my time. Mother thinks that he is in love with me. She also says that he keeps on looking at me." " I am in a very difficult position. Mother is against me. She is against him. But I am not against her. I don't know of him. But he closes his eyes not to see the silent battle between mother and me. Luckily I am quite used to hiding my feelings. I manage myself well not to reveal my inner feelings about anything to anyone. She does not understand us. We are happy just sitting together and not uttering a word. When he lies with his arm under his head, as if sleeping, he looks like a child. When he plays with the pet, he is lovely sight to see. When he carries hay-stacks for the cattle, he looks strong. “

“When he is shooting the birds or running in the dark after the burglars, then he is brave. When he is so awkward and clumsy with mother, he is a darling. Of the numberless steps to my heart perhaps he climbed one or two.”

His voice shattered her dream about the Prince Charming. She was enjoying life in a hundred-acre estate. It was full of trees, flowers and green grass. She was spending her vacation with the Prince family. Today she had spent the afternoon for a brief siesta on a net swing tied between two trees. She was resting after a heavy lunch with the Prince family. In dream she was clad in white satin costumes of a delicate lovely Princess in conversation with the Prince Charming.

The Prince was resting opposite her in a cushioned chair his elbows, on the arms of the chair, legs neatly crossed; he selected his words with all the articulate crispness that is meant to rule. He was one of the handsomest being present in the whole Prince family. He listened to her with deft attention.
Prince :-( to her) “You are a remarkable genius! How come in such a young age you achieved such wisdom?” He said to her, poised on his elbows, one hand to his chin; one hand, negligently dangling, his face had flushed bright pink and radiating, full of life. But, the dream came to an end.
His voice brought her back to reality. She was lying in bed in the corner of her room, this morning. She felt good lying in the bed doing nothing. Her mother had told her stories of her childhood spent in this room,. Mother had the style to speak standing backwards facing the mirror in the wall. Mother was fond of telling her childhood events in greater detail. The room, the bed and the mirror –all had watched her grow up.

She was a maiden now. When she looked at herself in the mirror while getting ready, she was surprised, sometimes by admiration, and sometimes to her embarrassment, to see curves of the breasts and hips. She would close her eyes out of shame shyness feeling awkward. She was surprised to find slopes of the round buttocks and flat belly, and the long legs. She would put her hands on her slim waist. She would touch her breasts and overcome with shame. She would put her hands on her eyes as if ashamed to see them, feeling awkward. She would hurry to get dressed wondering about the wonders of ups and downs of her body. She was ignorant of the fact that nature had endowed her with the symmetry, parallel to none. Her face was flawless. The brows, the eyes, the cheekbones, the nose were rarest of rare to be seen. Seeing her, all other girls were sure to look like nuns of the church. She used to tie her bosom with a scarf rest it may reveal themselves to the prying eyes. She used to hide them under the knots of the scarf to look flat as if she had nothing there.

She was absorbed in the crowded and noisy world with her fantasy till she attained her age, a maiden out of the fairyland. When she was desperate for a confidant, she stood before the mirror and told things secrets she had learnt during the day. The image in the mirror was her friend and guide ever present when she wished.



The stories, the secrets she learnt would be such that she could not safely divulge to him or anyone; especially him because the secret thoughts were usually about him. Sometimes she wondered about other girls and their private lives. Did they have secret thoughts like her? Such questions used to puzzle her for which she wished answers.

She knew a few families. Sometimes she wondered about their married life. She was curious to know about their husband and life with them. Phil Sinclair, for instance who was her mother’s fast friend was married for sixteen years. She organized her husband’s day to day affairs, his entire life from putting clean socks, polished shoes, to start his car, and keeping its engine running for him to go to job every morning. Mrs. Harris and her husband were seen quarrelling all the time. Ms. Beatrice, aged 32, was a spinster. She knew all tricks of the trade. There was little of love’s language that she did not know. She was full of knowledge of erotic technique. She advocated that making love was an art, and that sexual contact was based on principles of science. Persons of certain characteristics attract each other.
To the pure, all things are pure. She loved them all, despite their strange ways of life.

Up till now life had passed without any difficulty. She possessed the slim frame of a body, which was free, tender, full of rushing life, that it gave the most of the hardened of males go soft looking at her. She was a real beauty. All art is born by improving on the old art. New art is born out of advancing, enlarging image of the old art. Beauty is best blossomed when it is used and abused.





A piece of Beauty is a thing of joy for the whole life. A full over-blown fruit, hanging on the tree, would get decayed if allowed to remain on the tree and if not plucked in time. It automatically would fall down. Birds would peck their beaks; crows would try to pick it away and all that.
She was now fascinated to look in detail, the visible contrast between her white breasts, and tan shoulder-marks showing white strips where the straps of the pinafore were tied. The curves of the body were felt like something new, surprising fascinating confusing. She winced and drew herself away as if apprehending some trouble to her beautiful body in the coming days. You may call it an intuition or a prophecy, as you like it. It happens. Some call it telepathy. Whatever you call it, but it does exist. It may be the sixth sense, a premonition, a forecast of events to happen. Life is like an earthen pot. A pot that is dropped in the well often to fetch water, may break someday. “Life is like an earthen Pitcher.” There was no doubt about it. “The pitcher when broken is released from its earthly bonds. It mixes into clay from which it was made.” Human body, after death, dissolves into the five elements of life, air, fire water, land and the sky; from which it was made. That is why it is said that life is brittle. It may break anytime. Therefore we should live life in its fullest form. Life is short and work is much. You want to do all of them in your lifetime. You can do it if you organized your life. Do not make mistakes others made. Learn from their mistakes. She was not a dumb one any more. She was aware broadly, roughly about the facts of life. She had seen dogs under trees in poppy fields. She had seen her mare with the horse. Both used to live together; nuzzle smell each other standing together living like a couple. She had seen male and female workers behind the shrubs.


She had also seen the estate supervisor with the spinster Music Teacher, his neighbor. One never talked openly or complained about it. It was like an open secret. All were happy. They took it as a natural and normal event. They had turned out to be regular pairs. There was no surprise and or shock about it. It was a long list of pairs. All knew it.

She was also overhearing their vile and vulgar talks, enjoying, teasing mother, in particular about her romance with the young Prince. Mother had scored a jewel. She had captured, Prince James. People were accustomed to know stories of romance and love of their fellow beings. It was a good past time. People told such stories with pride.
Once it so happened that a horse went wild all of a sudden, overthrowing its rider, near the opium grove. They came to know that he was none else but the youngest Prince James. He was few years younger than mother. Mother rushed to him, took him in her lap, and wiped his face with wet cloth. Gradually he came to his senses.

Mother supported him on her shoulder. She escorted him to his dwelling place. In the meantime attendants from the palace had also arrived. After he had recovered, he used to summon mother to his private place. Mother had a good time with him. They say that she was his daughter, and she was born after a year or so of their acquaintance. She had all the characteristics of Royal blood in her, in her looks temper and style, which confirmed their belief. Mother never disputed it nor openly accepted it. Mother was having good time, full with money, and she was buying always, new things for her. Mother’s life was cheerful. He bestowed all his love on Mother. She was a satisfied being not wanting more.




Prince James offered mother a place to stay in the estate. She had declined on the pretext that she had her own living quarters left by her ancestors. Mother was a self-respected lady not believing in being under anyone’s obligations. Anyway. Let us revert to their day to day life.

Mother, in her days, used to remain annoyed with him. Mother many a time used to warn him. It is quite funny. It seems true, children do inherit feuds of their parents.
She: “It is your entire fault to spoil her.”
Mother many times used to scold him
Mother asked him to stop fondling her.
She: “Calling her a Princess, She has a life to go.”
She: “A bum she may have to live with!”
She: “Don’t put ideas in the poor child. It will make her life miserable.
She: “We are born to work. Born to be exploited, used and thrown when no longer needed.”
She: “She is no different” “She is one of us.” “She is not only Prince’s daughter. She is my child also. I want to rear up her in my way.”
She: “We are just receptacles, bins, spittoons, toys a luxury for our Lords.”
She: And remember we are born to,
“To please them”
She: “They will do to us what they can’t do in their home.”
She: ”A woman is different from a man.”
She: “She is subject to lot of temptations, dangers, every step. Every male she comes in touch, looks at her to take her straight to bed. She can’t go with all.”

She: “She is still young to know all this.” “Why burden the poor child!”
She: “Allow her to live in her world.” “These are her best days to live life.”
She: “Her time will come.” “Her days are not far off.” “Her time is coming.”
She: “A girl is ten times wise than a boy of her age.” “Mine is no exception.”
She: “When time comes she will act.” “She is capable to do so. I am sure of it.”
She: “She need not be taught. It is in her.” “She need no lessons about it.”
She: “Do you understand?” “Idiot as your mother has born you?”
She: “I do not know what I saw in you?” “You pig -head!”
She: “I feel I should not have brought you to stay here.”
Today, his face was red with anger. Blood had come up on his face. He burst out loudly. He could not contain himself. He was shaken up. He lost his balance. He shouted out loudly. He lost his calm and cool. He forgot his place in the house.

He: “Shut up you bad mad Cow!” And.
He: “Keep your lips buttoned”
He retorted mother, as if, putting her in her proper place, and asserting his authority. He tacitly made her realize that he was the boss in the house. Today he was in high spirits.

He: “This is my small little place and I call every one and any one as I please.”
With the passing of years he had formed himself as a member of the family.
She: “You’re House? What I hear?” “ Did I hear Right”- mother would shout.



She: “This is my house.”
He would check himself. He knew he had gone fast. Mother was not a lady to be handled roughly. Mother was a respectable person, all coming to her for advice. Mother had pretty much her finger on the pulse of the entire surrounding area. He realized it was not an opportune time to pick up a quarrel with her.
She: “Before evening if you are not out of the house, I will throw out your things.” “I do not want untoward headstrong elements in my house.”

He calmed down. He was taken aback. He was shocked at the turn of events. He apologized before her profusely. He never intended to agitate her so enormously. He counted to mother all obligations he had done. How he had protected her in her days of need, and how he was helping her in all houses hold matters. He was a sort of her helping man running her errands here and there as told. He had been her handy man in her service all these years in return of a shelter. Mother listened to everything he spoke; she took her time, to make the statement. She replied him more slowly than was her custom, to give weight to her words.
She: “I do not know anything.” “You seem to have forgotten one thing!”
She: “I never wanted your help.” Mother would always use this phrase.
She: “You always pick up a wrong time to enter into arguments with me.”
She: “You have been a nuisance to me all the while.” “You are useless.”
She: “Want to know the truth?” “Truth will be bitter. So don’t compel me.”
She: “How I feel for you?” “I have always felt very rotten about you.”



She: “I brought you in my house to keep you.” “That was my folly.”
She: “I thought you would prove a man.” “You are a coward.”
She: “I wanted someone in the house for moral support and protection.”
She: “You were never there when I wanted you.” “You were playing cards.”
She: “When I am in trouble, you do not notice.” “You do not care for anyone.”
She: “When I am happy, you spoil it.” “I have always noticed that.”
She: “When I am depressed and want you to console me, you are not there.”
She: “When I ask you to do something you do not do it.”
She: “When I ask you not to do something, you do it.”
She: “You enjoy when others make a fool of me.”
She: “You have been a nuisance all the while.”
She: “You and I have been going on separate lines, and there has been no fun seeing you in the house.”
She: “It is time now that you leave the house at an early date.” “Out of my house!”

His face fell. He was shocked. He was shivering with nervousness. He was doomed. He would surrender. He would quit answering her. He would remain calm like a tame puppy. . He would quit. He would entreat her later to allow him to stay when she was calm. This was perhaps the longest ever-made speech by her. Otherwise she spoke quite less. Mother resumed sewing her dress. Mother did not remember her words. Mother never used to engage herself in serious confrontation.




When someone spoke to her, she would nod; absent -mindedly preoccupied in own thoughts. There was no joy in her victory. Mother was a forgiving person. He had also known after a long experience that mother never meant it. A woman when cornered had no idea what she said on spur of the moment. Life would go on again for a while, as if nothing had happened, unless again he confronted her and instigated her to quarrel. Being underestimated by men was one of the biggest crosses she had to bear all her life. It was very irritating when she was young. With the passage of time she had accepted it and got used to it. She had made an unconditional compromise with life. She had seen many winters. She endured suffered and tormented herself. None could measure her miseries. She would not bow to anyone, howsoever big he may be. She had preferred to live life her own way. She never regretted it. She was rather proud of it. She kept her sentiments and feelings to herself.

HER VERSION.

Today, she was home, down with cold and sore throat. The day was peaceful with no worry about work and other matters. She decided nature would take its own course. She slept again. This did not interfere with her world of reveries. She lived in a world of dreams. It was a sweet pain amidst a made-up world of imagination. She imagined of a happy married life ahead in the future with the Prince Charming. She was lying in the bed wrapped in a blanket. She rested in bed on a cool morning while other girls were already at the school, college or at the fields to crop the poppy leaves.




She had created a fantasy, which kept her occupied for quite a while. Her time passed happily. Life was wonderful. She wore plain cotton dress and her legs were bare. There was however a sort of freshness in her that would blind an intruder. She was in her own world of dreams and fantasy.

Voices of the customers were now not heard any longer. That means it was noontime to rest. She was relaxing. The only noise she had heard since he had awakened her was of drizzling rain and rain drops falling on the roof. The atmosphere was damp and lovely. The street was also empty with the noon oncoming fast. People were getting ready for a siesta, their nap after meals. Her room was as dim as can be on an early rainy afternoon. The atmosphere was romantic. There was enough time. The place was safe. She was there all, alone, longing for company. Some one with a will had just to walk in. Mother’s prized treasure was lying unguarded. Anybody could have it. Faint hearts can not win a fairy. Rogues can do it. They have been doing it. She shuddered at such a wild thought. In her subconscious mind she was aware of such a possibility. Yes, may be, She had stayed home to make such a possibility a reality.

She heard him roll down the shutter of the shop. She could hear his footsteps making movements in the kitchen and the lobby. Her ears were riveted to the floor below anticipating his movements. He had crossed the lobby. He was now climbing steps of the stairs. It was a quiet afternoon on a rainy day. Her heart began to pound. She felt panicky. All sorts of doubts came to her mind. She heard his boots hit the floor steps of the stairs causing an odd mournful echo in the silent place.



Now his face was seen as he completed climbing the steps. He had turned and advanced, marching awkwardly towards her carrying in his one hand a pail of Eucalyptus rub-oil, and a mug of Tea in the other. He had big plans for a big game on this auspicious day. He seemed to have done his homework well. He made a half smile at her, muttered a warm greeting. He was little out of breath. She did not respond. She had not reconciled from her doubts about him. She adjusted her blanket around her. Her sixth sense warned her. She saw in his eyes, a flash of something sinister. Danger was coming.

A sigh escaped her lips. She was too confused to do anything. She took a deep breath, maddened by her own stupidity. What was the point of sitting here and fabricating such wild thoughts out of the mind when there was a possible invasion? No. No. No.! It can't be.

Again the fears came back. She widened her eyes and sat up from the bed impatiently as if to run away. She felt.
This can not be hallucination. She recollected some proverb.
She: “Coming events cast their shadows before,”
She repented for staying home and not going to college. It was her fault. She was like a lamb sent to the slaughter. The lamb always died. It is a tragedy. Many a time she imagined the lamb to fight, the butcher-man, to reverse the page of History. It would be a miracle. She consoled herself, she thought with a sinking feeling to gain courage.

She: “He would not dare to do her any harm as yet;” She consoled herself.
She “He was mother’s tame dog.” “Dogs do not bite the owner.”
Again her mind refused to agree and doubts started hovering. In her life she had never displayed fear. Today she was really afraid. This time she was full of all sorts of fear. Her mind refused to work. Fear is something that has to be learnt by experience. It takes the life out of you. She was young to experience such an event. She felt dizzy, confused not knowing the fate. Startled expression lingered over her face. They were visible. Her head ached, her body ached. She thought about going out, to a neighborly friend’s house, not very far, but far enough when she was tired and not well. Staying in the bed was not going to solve the problem. If not today, some day she had to face this problem. There had to be somebody who could help, someone to talk to. At home there was nobody. After mother’s death, there had been a sort of emptiness in the house.

She was really in a vulnerable position. She had invited trouble. This chilling possibility penetrated her mind like a steel blade. It was so unacceptable that she refused to believe it. She waited for events to take their turn. Let it be. Come, what may! She consoled herself that she had been unduly disturbed by her thought and there was no possibility of his advancing further. She assured herself. She calmed.


One moment her nervousness was ebbing away, next moment it was returning with double force. Her mind oscillated in all direction for and against the possibility. She had many memory of him since they were living together under one roof for the last few years. She had almost neglected his presence giving no chance of any conversation or intimacy. None of the past memories about him were pleasant for she had crossed swords with him innumerable times in the past. She had handled him with a stern look. She was feeling today, ridiculous. She lived in the castle house since childhood and she had on many occasion dealt with him with firm hand putting an end to his intimate talk.

She knew what he was and that he knew that she knew about it. There was no secret about it. She had rein of power on him always. She had held the reins quite tight upon him. She knew that beauty was a promise to attract the male, to lure him to wander around. She was therefore lying low in the house never revealing and always concealing. Man wants to believe to be above such temptation. They live in a life full of myth. It is a myth they carry. All men are on a look out for easy prey if they could lay hand on.
Every woman wants to believe herself to be a beauty, she craves to be prettier, richer, glamorous happier than they were. They did all sorts of tricks to do this. She was an exception. This did not apply to her. She was simple and domestic loving girl not influenced by the glamour of the outside world. Plain living and good thinking was her life. She was an aspiration being, wanting to be somebody, someday, somehow, somewhere.


Every woman wants a settled life secured in matrimony. She hopes safety, protection. In her body she sells hope. It is triumph of hope over experience. All do it. All know it. The silver-tongued that conjures such dreams is part circus, part created magic with smoke and mirror galore on their part to lure to capture them in the cage of matrimony. It is an institution of myth. Marriage is a tie that binds one man with one woman for the whole of their long or short life. It allures her to enter into it in haste whereas those who entered into it strive to get out of it in haste. Both ways life becomes miserable. She was inexperienced of all this. She was a blank piece of paper clean and dot-less. She did not know marriage was a myth.
She: “Sorrows come not in single, but in battalion. “
She could see, him put both things on the wooden shelf near window. She felt him come towards her with some informal remarks.
He :- “ I have never seen you look so pale! “
He:- “Oh ! God what has been the matter?”
He came to stand close to her. He put his fingers on her forehead in a style a doctor would do. He carefully separated and freed the wrapped blanket. He slipped his arms around, and propped her up so that she sat supporting her back to the wall of the bed. Her eyes went half-closed out of fear and shame and shyness of finding her alone in such a position, for the first time, in her life. She felt herself insecure in his presence. She was a girl alone in the house. His unexpected advancement on her privacy was disturbing and challenging. It was for the first time in many years he had attempted to behave like this. After mother’s death they happened to be living under the same roof without any difficulty. Today was a different day, from all point of view.



He took one hand off his pocket and laid it over hers. The sudden simple contact left her quite dumbfounded. Nobody in the most intimate moment had touched her before in such an intimate way. She felt as if he owned her. She kept herself on the bed in shocked silence. She was mesmerized with the abrupt movement of his hand, heavy hand of a big male. She froze. Her eyes ached. Blood rushed to her head. Her body trembled, and what remained of the mind tried desperately to think out ways and means to get out of this mess. Her mind did not respond.
His fingers rubbed and caressed her head. He adjusted her unruly braids of hair with fingertip like a hair comb. With other hand he lifted her hand in style of a doctor, measuring pulse. This made her dizzy. She liked it, soothing and comforting. She was virtually tongue-tied and could not utter anything. She kept eyes shut as if she was asleep; as if cat-napping, but her heart was pounding with such increasing speed, she thought it would explode against the rib cage. The blood in the vein was rushing to the temples as if it might explode any moment causing brain hemorrhage. She was a shocked helpless bird. She knew her days were over. She remembered mother’s golden words of advice to protect honor of a woman at cost of life. How in history many had died for their honor! The list was long. She should not have stayed home. She should have gone to the college. He had come well prepared. He had done homework. Mother was right, always telling,
She: “Do not, ever, be alone with males.” “It gives them idea.”
She: “It is fun for them.” “They have not to lose.” “It is one more ride for them.”
She: “With us, it is life and death business.” “We can not afford it.”


She: “It is a prized treasure Nature has gifted us, not to be wasted on unworthy people.”

She had missed the bus. She was sure to be ruined. It was written on the wall. Writing on the wall was clear. It was written in bold letters. By God! Save her! She prayed all prayer mother had taught her to chant in times of need. She forgot most of them. Her knowledge of all precaution went futile. She was sure to be used. Sword of Damocles was about to fall.
His fingers moved down from her head to forehead and to her cheeks, turned to encircle her lips and again upside up to nose, temples, ears, again to the cheeks, chin, towards front- neck, and inside front all the way in. His fingers were widening and exploring, in search of something, as if he was sure they were there, surprised not finding what he wanted, and his hands coming up empty. He left a heavy sigh of disgust with himself. He sat in silence for a while meditating and thinking what to do next. He was still however trying to locate in his mind one infallible clue to reach the goal; he believed himself nearer to it than ever before and as if expected that his hands would catch hold of them wherever they lay hidden. He wondered how come, his hands could not find them! He was really puzzled.

After a while as if he gained strength, to advance further, he positioned himself on the bed sitting, his thigh touching her. He massaged her head, moving his fingers in the folds of her hair, then moving on the face, shoulders, nape, the neck, going up to her back, in the rear, all the way down the spine, causing untold hair-splitting body –ache.


She started shuddering. Veins started pulling, and stretching. All juices in her body got collected and rushed at a place, for a way out, with velocity of waters of Niagara-falls. Her secret prayers were heard. Her secret dreams were coming true. Every human being is a split personality. The Jackyll & Hyde theory of split personality is based on science of human behavior. He behaves differently at different occasion.

Groaning, he took her in his arm, buried his face in her hair. He kissed her hair over and over again. He was shaking in every limb with oppressed suppressed passion, emotion, and half rage, half-desire. His suppressed desire had found a vent today. He did not go up to her lips to kiss her right away. He continued to repeat the cycle of events.
A hard wind blow of passion drove him to her lips. He devoured the lips with his own, kissing her. It looked as if he was dying of thirst. To him her mouth was a moist ripe peach fruit.
One has to stand in meditation on his two feet life long to procure such a prized piece of beauty. She was amazed. She innocently and awkwardly returned his kisses. She gave up herself up to the joy that he was holding her, tight being kind, good and kissing. She had never experienced such feeling. This was something new to her. She was thrilled. She was anxious to know further. She felt she was unduly frightened and alarmed. It was a wonderful experience. She abandoned herself to the fulfillment of years of yearning for this moment. She, inexperienced, to the kiss on the lips, was shaken. The discovery of the mouth of another, roughness of his lips, hardness of the teeth, and wetness of the tongue was new.


She began to return his kiss as if each kiss could bring back her dream she had reveled in bringing back world’s happiness in returning his kiss. She was inexperienced in this field. She felt on top of the world.

In Heaven, a dam had burst wide open. It had let waters fall on the world, flood them all. It had swept them in its grip, pulling them with its waves. The wild waves hitting them, submerging them, down to the bottom of the earth. They were again coming up to breathe, dashing against trees, houses, and what ever came in the way. They were not knowing the fate, almost sure to drown, losing consciousness, floating as per its will. They were having no hope of survival.

She knew it was coming! Silly! Really she was silly! Say, she went mad, quite mad, she liked to be mad. She did not want to be wise. If you are wise, life is dull dry and dark. Being wise, you have many restrictions, checks, controls, ifs and buts, and responsibility. It is good to stay mad. She died. In death, she felt it sweet! She enjoyed dying. What a fall! What an extent she had changed!

She cursed mother that she had lied to her about all this. There were no danger mother had out-lined. The sensation was all heaven. She wanted to bathe herself in his love. Let it pour on her and, on her flesh. Let thy love in kisses rain, on her cheeks and eyelids pale, Oh! Press her close to thee! There, it should break at-last. ! She liked it. Go a head!
Few moments of love are better than a dry spell of long life. Her face was glowing. It sparkled like red hot sun on the horizon.




She came back from her dream. Her senses returned. She knew there was an emergency. Her honor was in danger, about to be molested. She was behaving like a helpless spectator to her ruin. She was unable to do anything. She was in the most helpless situation ever imagined. Nero, the Emperor of Rome was playing the fiddle while Rome was burning. She did not feel like doing anything. She had gone stalemate. She did not know what to do. Let the nature take its own course. He had taken over full control over her. The Almighty is there to take care of everybody. He would save her. She relied on Him.

She could not do anything. She felt she was helpless. After a while, as if, she were endowed with some divine strength, duly embarrassed, she pushed him out of the way and came down the bed.

She had pushed him aside. He was taken aback. She rose to her full height, confronted him with a stern face. At once she felt marginally better. She was her own self now, in control of the situation.

She: “What are you doing here in my room?”
She: “What business you have got to come here?”
She: “Out!” “Get lost to your place before I make a scene and draw a crowd.”
She: “What you have taken me for?”
He chuckled. Inside he was shaken. He made a brave front.
He: “I was worried about your sickness.”
He: “I am concerned with your health.”
He: “I felt I would entertain you to keep you happy.”
He: “I did not mean anything else.”




Annoyed by his sudden intrusion, she stamped her foot, expressing displeasure that was her usual habit. She did not enter into further conversation. She gathered her slippers in an attempt to move around the room. She did not know he had moved behind. He was determined to get her today. He was an aroused animal. He did not waste time. He cornered her with his hands. He held her firmly against his chest. She frowned. Gathering courage, she ducked away beneath his arms and moved away from him. He was very much still. He took a second step, pulled her in his arms before she realized what had happened. Again she was at square ‘A’. She froze under his stare. She felt he was going to kiss her. She had to stop him. But she did nothing to stop him. With ease and slow deliberation, he advanced, took her in his arms. When she tried to pull away, he made a smile at her. He appreciated her fighting spirit. He tightened his grip. There was a gleam in his eyes. He pulled her still closer. She opened her mouth to shout, but before she could utter anything, he had his mouth firmly clamped over hers. It was a long, long practiced kiss, his lips pressed and probed her lips. She was rigid in his arms, but the heat was spreading. He continued to kiss at slow pace not suffocating and not hurried but as he continued kissing her, she succumbed to weakness, and melted. She was responding to his kiss against her will. He finally released her to breathe and relax.

He caressed her shoulders, which when touched, had the freshness and polish, he had ever seen. The skin was velvety and untouched by a male member of the male community.




He traveled towards her side-neck, nape, chin cheeks, temples. His hand went to her hair, head, and descended to the back of the head. It went to her back- neck, and galloped straight to the waist and beyond. It came back, journeying slowly up, and down, to back; from back to shoulder and again from shoulder to the back, going far rear, all the way down. There was no further beyond that point. It was as if a circular route he had adopted ascending and descending at every curve.

Remembering her mother and her affair with the Prince, she wondered whether she had taken the path her mother had chosen. She was a virgin. She had never dreamt of sleeping with any man before. She had hated him, and everything he stood for. She could not however dispute the fact that she found herself physically attracted to him.

She: “Was she a shameless girl, desiring him?” she asked herself. Surely a decent girl would not get attracted like this. There was more of her mother's blood in her than she realized. She felt she deserved to be destroyed at the hands of an ungrateful fellow on account of her behavior. She felt she had violated rules of nature prescribed to be followed by a virgin. An agonizing pressure was developing within her ready to burst out any second.

Her body was not in control. Something within her had revolted. She was not her own self. She had resigned herself to his mercy. He saw her tilt her head back against the wall. She had raised her hands high in a deep sigh. He took it as come- on sign. He felt encouraged. He felt jubilant at such an easy catch.



She appeared very informal in offering herself to him. She was unaware of it. He could see that she was not playing the usual coquette or the mandatory tease before submitting. She did not understand the consequences. She was a blank piece of paper. Her look was so eager, that, it gathered together her entire ardent nature, and it was offered to him in an artful manner, without any ceremony. She was an unspoiled child. He kissed the curve of the jaw, near her neck and everywhere, puzzled and bewildered at such an easy catch. It was apparently a case of misfits. We see around in our practical life so many misfits. There would be addition of one more.

She knew he had her. She was deceived. She thought him a straightforward guy whom she could make him dance to her tunes as and when she pleased, proved wrong. Her arithmetic failed her. After Mother’s death for the last few
years, or so, they were living together. He was the slave. She had an upper hand. She could get done anything from him. But today, she got scared. She was sure of it. Today it was different.

She: “Trust an Animal but never a Man. Animals are faithful, not ungrateful like him.”
She: (to herself) “Can a leopard change its spots?”

A leopard can not change its spots. It could not change its nature. She realized this truth today. He had made a plot to get her. It was a case of misfits. Since Mother’s death it appears, he had his eyes on her. He was waiting for an opportunity to put his plan into practice.

Today she provided him with an opportunity. She was home and not gone to college. Atmosphere was romantic. Occasional showers of rain had accelerated the atmosphere into a more romantic day. The house was an ideal place for love. He had made the necessary arrangement to advance further in the name of helping her in her sickness. He had prepared a rub to help her to overcome cold etc. It was an exquisite plan he had invented to get her. He had taken her quite by a surprise. She had not expected him to advance further with such unfair tactics.

He was like a leopard in the jungles. She was like a doe-deer, in the forest. The deer wants to love the leopard, it also wants admire the green grass. The reality is far from real life. The leopard can not live unless it eats the deer-doe. The doe can not live unless it eats the green grass. the leopard hunts the doe-deer and catches it and kill, drags to his baby leopards to eat it. The deer-doe selects a stag-deer of her community.

They all belonged to different world, got together by chance or by some irony of fate, like passengers in a train. They were like strange co-fellows, rock bottom different from each other. Here, she was dreaming, there, the thief was doing his job. She was helpless. She had no strength to oppose. Her faculties failed her. She was no match for him.

She: (to herself). Oh! Lord! What is happening! Today! He was different! She knew all the symptoms. She was in danger. What to do? He was a hunter dog.


He was a bloodhound dog. She was the victim of the day. She had seen the dog hovering after the bitch and smelling, licking her at all places and all that. The dog was all honey and sugar for getting the trophy. Once he had penetrated he was the king. He was at rest now, panting, breathing hard, lungs inflating, with saliva oozing from its mouth; he would be half-sleeping with a winner’s face. She had seen the bitch suffering. She had seen the bitch, striving to get detached. She had seen pain and repentance in her eyes. A dog is a dog. It has its place. You do not dress it up and take it to a dance. Here she was doing all the philosophy. There he was doing the job.

She: (to herself). From dog, her mind turned to garden, and garden-keeper. Her mind was traveling fast, at jet speed. He appeared before her eyes as the gardener of the garden of flowers. He knew which flower was ripe to be plucked. Today she had fallen to his favor. She had to face it. To him, she was just a flower, to smell and to crush and crumple and throw away! Females are flowers. They are buds in the teens. Many buds and flowers fall prey in wrong hands and they are withered before their blossoming time. They survive to live like walking skeletons. They are better dead than alive. A flower or a bud can not by her volition give herself to anyone. She has to be plucked and taken. The real man comes to the flower, as if it was his own property. He just comes, sees and collects. He plucks it and buttons it in his buttonhole and would walk out.


No question is asked. No permission is sought. No apology is tendered. Man is the master of all he surveyed. She is very much obsessed with the idea of giving herself to a man. She simply can not decide about it. She is in two minds weighing every pros and cons about the man. All her faculties get transfixed, dumb, and paralyzed.

She: (to herself). To her it is a treasure. She can not decide. She has no capacity to give. It has to be snatched, or stolen from her, without her knowing. She is taken on a high ride. Her importance is magnified. She has to feel that she has gone so big at her zenith that none can reach her. She has to be tricked and trapped without her knowing that she is already captured. She has to be kept so busy with series of functions, appointment journey and other off hand last minute unscheduled program that she does not find time to think what is going on. She has to be kept intoxicated with praise promises and pampering. Her dreams have been fulfilled. She has to feel that she is a star. Star is seen in the night. They fade in the daytime. She has to live in the myth of being a world celebrity. She should not feel depressed any moment. She would surrender in her entirety. It is now time to enjoy her, to eat her, to take her alive.
It is the same process as we tame a horse-mare. To ride on a mare and to bridle her is an art. The mare is afraid of its own shadow. The mare does not trust anyone lest he may ride over her. You have to be with her for hours, for days, months and years with sugar lumps, to allow her to smell you nuzzle you. She has to be pampered and praised all the while. You have to be a part of her. You have to belong to her. You have to be one with her. Caress her, praise her cajole her; allow her to live into her dreams.

Then you take her. And ride over her. She is meant to be bridled ridden and spurred.. It is late for the mare when she realized that the rider had already ridden over her, bridled her and had possessed her. Men have been doing this for ages. The females have been falling in the trap knowingly or unknowingly or some with knowledge but do not mind, as they are interested in temporary pleasure.
She shuddered at the very idea, as to what next he would do! In first game, she had melted. Her flesh failed her. Her breath came in painful gasps. Her face was flushed. She felt her body ached with the discomfort of the long and tiring journey to the moon, the stars and the planet. How she would survive in big games! She could not think. All thinking stopped. All her wisdom was gone. She felt she lost consciousness.

She had not prepared herself. She felt she was not worthy to be mother’s daughter. She had simply thrown herself to him without knowing consequences. He would not leave her today! She was sure to be his prey. He must have watched her. He had known that she had attained age. He was on a look out to get her. She helped him by not going to the college. It was a blessing in disguise for him. It was a God gifted -opportunity he had got for free and that too without effort. Oh God! Why in the hell she stayed home! She deserved it. It was entirely her fault. Had she used her head, she would have been safe. He was all set to go all the way. She felt she failed.
Again she got busy in her thought. He was a hunter dog of the jungle, a grey hound, or an Alsatian dog!

He was not a tamed Pomeranian puppy. He knew every bitch needed servicing. She had seen inexperienced small puppies failing in their aim. But this one was sure to hit the jackpot at the first shot. He would take a blind shot but it never missed. She would be serviced, well serviced. She would have not to complain thereafter. She would be in bed for days. She would forget walking.
He smiled. He moved towards her. He stopped right in front of her. He stood so close; she could smell the husky male odor. He extended his hands. He got his palms moving on her ears, going in circular route down to the neck, and inside the front, now boldly searching for her breasts. Her breasts were not trained and were unknown to any touch, were in raw form of limped lumps of flesh not developed. He started fondling them.

As he stroked her breasts, they seemed to have life. They swelled under his touch. The flesh was hardening. He searched for its tips and started fondling in rhythm, circular way, clockwise and anti clockwise, going from one to another. Thirsty hungry untrained and inexperienced as they were, nipples started responding, with his touch. They started growing and standing erect and the bags started filling with life. The downfall began. Countdown started. It was a matter of minutes. Before a minute, alive, next minute dead. There was no chance of her survival.

She prayed, and again prayed God to run to her rescue. She was doomed. She was slipping. She was skidding. She could feel it. She was getting heated.

A bitch in her heat does not know. She responds to regret. She goes along to die. She digs her own grave. She helps destroying herself, by getting ready and responding. She was getting bold. She was no longer ashamed. She felt she never knew it was so wonderful. She felt she made a mistake. She should have used him much earlier. She felt she wasted her years. All sorts of mad vile ideas were over-powered her. She got mad. She got lost. She wanted help. She felt she wanted him, real. She was hankering for his love.

She: (to herself) “Come, You timid?”
She: “Why are you wasting the time?”
She: “I have not left whole day for your fun.”
She: “I have work to do.”

The waiting was interminable.
Her body started jerking up and down, helping and assisting him in his efforts to water the dead plant. He was a body mechanic, an efficient repairer. He must open a garage to repair so many, many, unhappy girls like her, who were frigid, dry, dead though living. He knew which part of the body was dead. He could set them right. A mechanic repairs and hands over the stuff to the master. He does not own grab the vehicle. He charges a fee for repairs and turns over the vehicle to the proper man.

There was transformation in her. He had made her a woman. Her breathing became hard. She started dancing to his movements. She had turned red.


She drowned in water with dams bursting to destroy everything. There was heavy bombarding. The sky noised with thunders, lightening. Its noise deafened her ears. Firecrackers burst every where. Rain was pouring and wild wind was blowing all around. She clung to him.

His hands rested at her shoulder blades making circular movement rubbing them with palms. This process heated her like a wild animal. She fell under his influence. He had taken hold of her. He was the boss and she was the slave. She was frantic with excitement. She was shaken with the new experience. Her body responded to his jerks, thrusts, upheavals and what not! She felt as if earthquake happened all around. She thought the world had come to an end! He pulled her ears playing with earlobes and penetrated ear- holes with fingers. It maddened her. Some restraint was left in her who got melted.

She was freed from age-old obsession, restraint, control, checks, ties, vows, promise to behave, and all strings of bond, barrier, bound-relation. Powerful electric current was passing in her. Her budding bosom heaved and sighed. It could take no further. It got enlarged like the paper bag. It looked it may blast any moment.

She came to her senses. She pulled back. She hit him on the face with all her strength. It made sound like an explosion.


He hissed, looked startled. Her palms burnt. She darted towards the door. She knew she had to run out of the place as soon as possible. Something terrible would happen. He was quick. He grabbed her by his hand. He threw her back on the bed. She tried to get up. He shoved her back on the bed again. He held her by her shoulder. His other palm went to her other shoulder. Both palms used to meet at nape of neck together. It moved down to waist level in the back, with her body encircled in his grip. His whole self was hovering over her with circular jerk thumps, push, pulls, and hot breath on her. She went crazy. She started moving, up down, side ways, and circular, with him. She adjusted her movement, in rhythm with his. They traveled and circled the whole world, hundred times. This was her first world ride and she saluted him. She wanted to reward him. In her sub-conscious mind, she wished he never stopped. She felt she failed with his every touch.

Atmosphere was full with wildest ever ideas. She never felt like this. She lived with every embrace. She failed in every game. She fainted at every touch. She surrendered with every tongue –play. She died with every kiss. She jumped at every stroke. She danced at every slash. He had a hunter-whip, a leather raw hide cord in his hand. He whipped hard and hard till she could not endure. She bounced at every whip-hit. She raised her legs with next whip hit. This aroused him. He hit hard again. She screamed. Her legs involuntarily opened up all possible wide. It exposed the mount and moulds for his view. He kicked her with his boots.


She bent and turned on her belly. He whipped her back so hard that she felt she flew in air, full of pain and scream. Saliva ran flowing from her mouth. Her bare back, shoulders got whip-marks imprinted on her skin. Boot- marks were seen all over the body. She lay unconscious.

Helpless, Harassed, she was abused all over her back buttocks and the body. She deserved every beating, slash, kicks hits, whip, slaps. She liked the beating. But she had enough. She failed at every attempt to stop him. She could not do it. Something within her had revolted. Her inner voice was encouraging to go on, go on, go ahead, still ahead, and ahead, all the way, and never, never to stop, and naturally he would not. She collapsed.

He advanced. He slid his hands under her armpits. His hands then, went down via side ribs deep all the way up to side loins. His hands touched waist -band of her inner underwear at her tiny waist. The hands went again up, pressing and crushing side ribs, and so on. This electrified every bone of the body, watering, caressing her in every place.

She responded to his ways. He was encouraged. Both danced together. Both danced for hours, days. They were not tired. They were not filled. Both wanted still more, more and more. At last both collapsed together entwined in each other’s embrace and fell to the ground. They both were wet having bathed in the lake of love.

It seemed the game was in the semi final. It must be a full-day game. He was playing his game with deft attention care and concentration. His attention was fixed on her every move, rhythm style everything. She had stood up to the occasion. His pulse quickened at the thought of a fierce love making with her in the next moments.

A big fire had taken place within her too. She was burning with flame. The fire could not be put off with buckets or pails of water. It needed fire fighters to cool her, to quench her. Alas! Somebody had to estimate the situation. At last, fire fighters were called. Fire Alarms were ringing deafening her ears. Fire-bells were sounding in the distance. Fire fighters were far-off, to stop him, to take him away. It would be late. She lay numb and stiff. She waited. At last she heard them. Sirens were heard in a long distance. Sirens were now clearly heard as they advanced near and near and came nearer and nearer to her rescue. She was a dead duck. She was a limp lump of flesh. He was caressing her ferociously. Her sides had gone red, the skin was warned out, flesh had swollen ready to come out. At last hosepipe were set. Ladders were laid and adjusted. Heavy boots were pounding, marching everywhere. Firemen wearing fireproof helmets entered. They caught hold him and pulled him away, dragging him. Water had started pouring in. She was drenched wet as if she was swimming in the room and she was feeling cooled with so much of water. Now she was satisfied. She could not endure it.

It was now time for a new game. She anticipated. She guessed. She knew it. He caught hold of her hands. He raised her hands up over her head. Her head was garlanded in a halo form by her entwined hands placed over her head. This view of exposed armpits maddened him. Her budding bosom was seen prominently, terribly heaving, out of breath longing for air. It was moving up and down with every breath for air. It may burst any time. The view aroused and maddened him. If a painter captured this view, in a painting, sure he would get first rank. She had died out of delight. She was proud to float in her dream.
He placed his palm firmly on each armpit. This generated wave and series of waves of emotion, sentiment, feeling, idea, dream all around. Drama was staged for this sensation to appraise the world of the power of this new experience. He was playing with latest model of new device. She sensed that it was a long unending game. He took a deep breath closed his eyes as if in meditation. He slept. His hands were resting on each pit. Her arm-pits emitted a long- stored, oppressed, pressed, suppressed heat like arrows were shot from there, in his palm. It pierced and burned his palm. He got jerk of an electric current. He was taken aback. He controlled him. He was happy. Contented, satisfied. She was breathless, speechless, dumb, still, and a statue. Today she died hundred times to live forever. The electricity, vigor and vitality flowing from him caused sensation unknown to her. The bell had ring. They climbed the bed for rest.

It was the big-recess in the class. She laid standstill. They took a nap. The bed was silent. It no longer creaked by the weight. The room was silent. It was recess. She met mother in dream. She told what he did. She asked her to come back. She held her. Both held each other. They both held and wept. Tears were flowing. Eyes were swollen. Bodies were trembling. Heads were spinning. Winds were blowing. Sky was falling. Sun was cracking. Stars were breaking. Earth was going in sea and they were drowning. She was hanging suspended on the horizon waiting for her turn to drown.

He got up. He stood up. He awoke her. He lifted her. He changed her now on the bed in straight sleeping pose. It was a new game; new style, new method. new tools, new technology. Her back was straight on the cot. He put pillow under the head and adjusted her preparing ground for next game. It was the final. She knew all facts taken together indicated that the opening ceremony would soon begin. Before the game started, she ran away. She knew, this was final to be played, to begin shortly. He ran after her. He caught her and dumped her again on the bed. He had grabbed her with his hand and shoved her on the mattress with a violent push. She was flabbergasted at her failure. All her strength had melted. She did not resist now.

The stadium was filled with thousands of spectators. The two team were about to come to play Final. Oh! Here it begins now! He was all set to go for the final act. She was in two minds. Helpless as she was, she went ahead.

They held each other. Their bodies got encircled and entwined. Faces touched each other. They were feeling breathing smelling each other likes two wild animals engrossed in fierce love play. They were smiling at each other, saying nothing, staying in loose embrace. She had clung to him.

They were one. By God! What was happening? Their Hearts were pounding. Do not stop. Start. Their bodies had melted in each other. Begin the game. End the silence. Begin the game; One, Two, and Three. Music, Drums started beating, loud, maddening every soul. What for the idiot was waiting? She was longing to die.

All of a sudden the curtain was raised. Thunderous clap was heard, greeting them. They resumed at dead slow pace and rhythm. They progressed slowly, and increasing their tempo, the momentum fast, faster and fastest. Faces devoured each other in wild passion. Both were giving and receiving, both were receiving and giving and so on. Days passed but they had not separated. Atmosphere was pleasant. Music was on; different instrument were playing wild mad music. It caused series of sensations, wild shouts, claps, big hands cheers and chaos, big blasts of bombs, fire-crackers, gun-fires, cannons thundering all around. Wild applause was heard. At last, after many days cease-fire was announced. Now the World was still. Life was still. They were also still. Their eyes were still. All things were still. She had exhausted halfway.

Again music was heard first slowly, coming nearer and nearer. They stirred as if awoke from sound slumber. Their hands were entwined at each other’s back. They had stuck to each other with glue, never to be separated. They were a pair of Siamese twins tied together. The heat had over taken them in its full grip. Nobody, no power, no being, not even, mother, if she came back, could detach them from each other’s embrace. Gradually tired and breathless and ready to fall and faint and die, they lay still. They were tired and torn, from a storm of heat, sand, flying in a desert all around.

Both of them did not know how they started going mad again, very mad, then, too mad. Their movement increased. Their bodies were joined in tight violent embrace. The tempo of the atmosphere had reached climax. They heard fast music. They were dancing with its speed, embracing and kissing, letting loose. At last, they stopped. They got tired and fell dead-tired to the floor.

After some time they were reborn. They resumed embracing and kissing, again letting loose. Again they were kissing and kissing and kissing devouring crushing breaking each other. They fell on the ground unconscious, breaking all record, all limit, all modesty, all barriers, and all boundaries. They had fallen on floor with a bang. They held each other in an embrace forever. Their faces radiated emitted heat into each other. They were arousing each other; they were encouraging each other, their bodies communicated green signals to each other, to go all the way. All line-clear bell rang.

She could bear no further. She resigned. She allowed him to do what he liked. She accepted defeat. She put her at his mercy. He understood. She was tired. She was limp. She wanted strength. She wanted rest. They laid in a fixed pose for hours on the floor, that she slept supporting her head on his shoulder, he was still, unmoved. He had used abused, reused, charged, recharged her small dry frame, gifting her with heat in her as if she were a live bomb about to blast. She was to be cooled by a cool shower of rain from him. She was panting and short of breath. She knew not what to do.

He lifted her from the floor and placed her again on the platform. He embraced her. He was still hungry and thirsty not satisfied and wild and attacking, jumping, humping and thumping and tossing and crushing as if she were a wild horse-mare brought to him to be tamed and trained. He was to day the ringmaster. He had tamed many horses. She was easy for him.

He gave life to her and she received his pleasure, as if both were playing love-tennis, high stroke, hard stroke, slow stroke, short stroke, far stroke, hitting stroke, returning stroke, placing stroke. At the end of every game, they were running to each other to take each other in each other’s arms, in close embrace, never to depart, breathless, over-powered. They were charged with feeling. They were tired. They were playing a passive and submissive game so that it may never end.

This was all new for a maiden not knowing the art of love. They fainted. All was silent for a while. Battle had stopped. Drums had stopped. Music had stopped.



Everything had stopped. Both lay in each other’s arms in an embrace for hours and dozed.

He resumed smelling, caressing with his nose and mouth and lips. He kissed her forehead. He was advancing, from side of the forehead returning via the end of the other side of it, to the eyes, nose, cheek, chin, and nape of the neck. He then came to the back covering full territory, temples, and her hair. He then made same journey on the same route with lips moving on nape of the neck. His mouth released hot breath. He lost himself in the depth of her armpits. He traveled his mouth from one side to the other crossing over her body. His front was touching her budding breasts in the process of reaching the other armpit. It was causing electric vibration and strong current. It was sending vulgar message.

She did not recollect when he undid buttons of her frock. He pushed it down exposing shoulders and full view of white neck and the back. He freed her hands from the sleeves. He saw the bare shoulders and outline of thin hairline in the armpits. He buried his mouth to smell, to lick with his wet tongue, and drowned himself in its depths, for long, forever. She died in a second, as she could not take it any longer.

She was startled, puzzled, amazed, horrified, finding her untouched place, wet on account of his moist breath. It made her skin wet and slippery. She was new to this sort of contact on her exposed skin. Something unknown and painful was happening within her. Ants were biting, thorns were pinching.


Something new took shape within her. Blood circulation had doubled up. Her face was red with shame and shyness. She felt lonely guilty unwanted, selfish silly and everything bad. She felt uncomfortable, adrift, uneasy pathetic, ashamed empty, cheap dirty, self-centered disgusted.

Again the game had resumed. It started first slowly, gradually progressing. It reached climax in a moment, Stage by stage, step by step. All her wisdom had vanished. Drums were heard beating loudly. She was dancing to its tunes, dead drunk and intoxicated floating in the ocean of love. There was a new sensation within her. All festivals, Shows, Concerts were dull and slow if compared with their speed and rhythm in their game. She was a witness of her own tragedy. The downfall would begin now.

Hundred times he lifted her. He had flown her in air. He caught her, again. He threw her high in air, caught her, hugged her, kissed her, tore her, twisted her, turned her, over-turned her, up-turned her, in-turned her, high- turned her, half turned her, and full-turned her. She knew not how many times he pressed her, smashed her, grind her, pulped her, ate her, killed her, enlivened her, again killed her, and tortured her.

Now it should end. She could not face his steady stare. She turned herself the other side facing the wall to hide her expression and aroused condition. She felt she would faint again.

By God! What a blunder! What a mistake she did! How could she be so foolish? She was between “Devil and the Deep Sea.” She had lost the game. Her turning sideways made space which enabled him to sleep and do anything. One wrong step was the end of the game. He sucked and licked her naked neck and open back. He was hungry as a fox. He was the master. He was the boss and she was his slave forever. She gave it in writing.

She did not know what happened. She was dead. She was born again, again, hungry, thirsty, panting, tired, broken, swollen, fighting to control her. It must have been hours when she found him at work. He had his head planted in the nape of the neck and as she turned to his side, he grabbed her, held her, and pressed her, close to him so firm and tight, that she felt she would break and die at last. It would never end. The bell had ring. It should be over by now.

For a while he withdrew his head as if to rest. He also withdrew his mouth allowing her to breathe. She thought the game to be over. It would not end. It was short recess. It was a never-ending game. It had a beginning with no end. It would be an endless episode.

Thereafter still two periods were left for long bell to ring to go home. He held her face. He clamped his lips on hers. This forced her to open them in a sort of a fierce attack.

He threw his body over her, riding, eating her, and devouring her alive, resting his mouth clamped on hers. He was debating within himself now what to do. Nothing was left. All was done.
She was immobile and frigid under his weight. She had already resigned herself and surrendered to him. She acknowledged his success, his victory and invasion on her privacy. He had conquered her. She was his slave. Still he did not free himself. His lips were planted on her half-closed lips. He was at work forcing his tongue to enter the mouth. His lips were warm and wet oozing with his saliva which drained into her forced- open mouth and she must have swallowed saliva in ton for hours. She started having sexy sentiment in her overpowered self. The whole body was not within her control. It was set free to do what it liked.


He is an inventor. He can invent all sort of new drill and exercise. He would not leave you free for a while. He kept her engaged and active. He could create a feeling that was most exquisite she had ever known. His mouth tugged on her tender sensitive skin. It was a feeling, rapturously new that tears stung her eyes. Her head fell back on his shoulder to rest. She surrendered to his lips, mouth, hands, palms, and fingers which all jointly and severally were responsible to cause an unknown fire in her.

A fire had ignited within her. She could not extinguish it. She was not her own self. She was an aroused animal. She wanted to enjoy the game of love at his hands. She wanted to throw herself at his feet and beg of him not to torture her any further. She could not endure his heat any longer, any further. She preferred to be strangulated, and die out of passion at his hands. Vile dream of a fierce battle fought between them surfaced before her eyes.

He extended his hand to lift her to stand before him. He allowed her to stretch herself to stand to her full height and cling to him. For one entire period they stood embraced to each other doing nothing just standing vibrating heat of their bodies flowing into each other, exchanging wild message from each other. Gradually he explored her body inch to inch, exploring her entire back from head to foot as a surveyor surveys the field every inch of the land with meticulous involvement, concentration and labor, with his fingers, palms, hands, mouth and finally;

He about-turned her; and he stood behind her, touching her waist with his hands, putting his hands on the side hips and pulled her towards him. She stepped backwards, dazed, dumb, and drawn to him, in a sort of hypnotized state of mind, body, and soul. She parked her entire frame firmly cemented with his frame. They stood still for hours, days, years, and ages. He stood behind. He resumed to explore her front, sides, hovering over her, his mouth planted in the depths of her neck right and left, both turn by turn, and now really, finally;

He confused her. He induced her into moving, turning, with slow rhythm. The tempo and speed gradually accelerated as if she were rotating on her toes at an immense speed and he was just touching and giving a slight push and support to continue rotating all times like a ballerina skating on ice. This went on for hours and days and years and ages. She felt she failed. She fainted. She died. She lived. Again she died. She was dizzy. Her mind and body were spinning like a top as if some super-natural force motivated her to spin and spin and so on, like the Sun inspiring the planets to rotate incessantly without stopping.

Some how she did not know from where she was over -powered with strength and anger and hatred that she pushed him. She wanted to run away. In that process, she fell down backwards on the bed in an her effort to move him from her way. He was a heavy stone-pillar with the result that she got thrown back. Half-lying on the bed, she kicked him so hard as if she felt, she broke her leg.

She felt her mother’s good deeds had come to her rescue and saved her from her downfall. It was a miracle. No explanation is necessary for those who believe in miracle. No explanation is possible for those who do not believe in miracle. They said age of miracle was past. Can the age of miracle be past? Never. Never. The age of miracle is forever. He was slow. He thought he had the all day and night to himself. He followed the rules of the book. He did it methodically step by step. Idiot as he was!

“A bird in hand is better than two in the bush.”
He was taken aback with a sudden unexpected move from her. He was quite unaware. He had taken her for granted! He would have almost fallen down on the floor. But by instinct he out stretched his hands for support of the cot and saved him from stumbling. He took support of the sides of the bed to stand near the bed startled, flabbergasted. She came down the bed to escape. In the process of coming down the bed, her half-open frock slipped further down, up to her waist exposing her breasts. To her surprise they were no longer tiny, and bits. They were big like mother had. They were swollen and grown plump three times in size and proportion, each tight like a hard red new shining lustrous cricket ball, but it had swollen nipples attached. They were aroused and gone brown and looking likes a, cherry, bubbling to burst out with touch or with slightest provocation.

Her breasts would have brushed, stumbled and dashed against his tummy. Her hands by instinct went around each, cupped and covered them. She retreated two steps back, clutched the back edge of the bed, placing her buttocks thereon to support herself. She was out of her mind finding her in the most awkward, vulnerable and embarrassing position in her life. She could not push his heavy frame that blocked her way, nor could she afford to expose herself in half sitting and half standing position with half of her body exposed in the open. At last instinctively, she pushed him. Some divine force had overtaken her. She derived strength from an unknown source. She with all her might, at her disposal, kicked him, right in between his legs.

He cried out, out of pain and agony. She pulled up her frock up to her neck quite fast. She ran past him down the stairs, busy putting her hands in the sleeves, and covered her body. She started buttoning the buttons of front open portion and adjusted her hair with her hands.

His folly was that he did not finish her. He took it as a game and prolonged it. He wasted time. He had to finish right away. He had to kill in one stroke. She was an adversary. He showed mercy on an enemy. Now, never. No chance. He missed his chance. Tables were turned. He had lost forever. She would never trust him. He had lost the game.

She: “I am through with it” “I am saved “She muttered to her-self.
How wrong she was! It had started. It had begun today. She had not realized how much this rendezvous would keep on bugging her at regular interval at odd times.
She was not through with it. She would never forget. Play-by play, stroke-to stroke, live replay of the episode would surface before her eyes like a screen wherein they would be seen playing their part. She would now be a spectator to see her performance and able to merit, evaluate her role with a critic’s eye. Her past would follow her as her shadow. She felt her honor modesty was safe sound and protected. Her skin was outraged, swollen, molested and tampered by his fowl hands and dirty mouth.

He was flabbergasted with her sudden move and was standing almost bent out of pain, in front of her blocking her way of escape. She had knocked the air out of him with a mighty kick at the right place, had walked out like a lightening. He remained where he was. He could not attempt to draw or pull her back to him. She had suspected he would surely do. He was not in a condition to do so. She had crossed him leaving him aghast and dumbfounded. The tea and the rub –oil, remained where they were. She had run down the stairs in three jumps reaching the bathroom down near the kitchen. She would have almost tumbled down the stairs. She was gone before he could catch his breath. She went slipping and streaking across the room like a flash. He was left alone. He fell on the floor, quite exhausted and tired.

He intended to make a come-back, to get a chance to play the game again. Up till now the opportunity had never quite presented itself like today. This time he had a break. Events moved remarkably in his favor. He had decided to finish up the mission this time. He could not make out what went wrong at the last minute. He came to a shameless end today.
He felt as if he wanted to die of shame and repentance for his failure. He studied the chronological sequence of events. He could not lay finger on his mistakes. It was apparent that he had no chance to a rehearsal in the near future. She would be armed and guarded all the while. Wait and watch was the only recourse left for him. He engrossed himself in devising ways and means of another orgy.
THE AFTERMATH.

She shut herself in the bathroom, locked the door tightly. She sat on edge of the tub unmoving, water running, filling the tub and over-flowing, her mind utterly boggled. She sat just doing nothing and reconciling in her mind as to what had happened and next what to do. She was totally confused at the turn of the events.

Her mind refused to function. She continued sitting still on the edge of the tub like a statue for almost few hours dumbfounded doing nothing. She then hovered around near the door, her ears straining for a sound, but no sound of his movement was heard from upstairs. She did not hear any noise nor overheard any activity or signs of his coming footstep while getting down the stairs. Atmosphere was as still as the grave. Nervously she pulled the towel more tightly around her shivering in the thin frock, at the very thought of what had transpired within the last few hours. She blamed herself for allowing him to advance further.

All sorts of ideas engrossed her and she was at a loss to find a way out of it. She could scarcely breathe and was panting like an animal. She sucked in for breath and heaved a long sigh of disgust about the state of affairs she had put herself in. Her heart missed a beat when she peered down the window to find that it was almost dark and it was night. She screwed her eyes tightly shut and uttered up silent prayers for her safety, every ounce of her concentration pouring into it. She vowed she would be good for the rest of her life. She would do anything.

She believed that God would do well to her. Her mother had told her that God was Goodness. HE was understanding and forgiving. HE would answer her prayers.
She never imagined that he might take advantage of her in this way. He lived in the house for the last many years. He was her mother’s mercy item. He had helped mother and was living with them. After her mother’s death it was after about a few years that he had advanced towards her in this way for the first time. Many times in the past, he happened to come upstairs in her room when she was sleeping or studying, but they never took notice of each other. They had taken each other’s presence for granted. Her mind was in turmoil. She knew not what to do. She felt Heaven had fallen. She thought of fleeing away from the house. Where to go was a problem. She never anticipated herself in such a terrible and helpless position. She was a carefree bird till now. She put aside all her thought and got up to change and clean herself. He must have dozed. After a while she heard footsteps descending the stairs passing the bathroom, opening shutters of the shop to attend to late evening customers.

She refilled the tub with hot water and rubbed and scrubbed herself so vigorously so as to wash away all the dirt of her body and soul. She washed her hair and poured water on her head for quite a while to steady her nerves and normalize her pounding heart. Cloudy morning had sure brought a clear evening. She recounted the events in her mind. She was feeling confused as to what she should do now. She felt his excited face. His behavior had ruined all her chances of a happy life ahead.

She will have to get rid of him or she would have to ask the Prince to allot her quarters to live in the palace.
In retrospection, she recollected his face when he came to her room, nervous, seeing her lying in the bed. An anguished moan came deep from within her. How she condemned him. There would be no more like this. She firmly resolved in her mind. There would be no more humiliation, no more groveling before him. She recollected how he had bent her, how he had seized her hands to make her helpless. How he had pressed his lips to hers. His mouth was warm and moist and tasted of the orange gum he must have taken. She recollected how he, then had moved his head and his lips traveled down her body, across her throat over her breasts. It was then that she had begun to fight him with a firm resolve to stop him,
She: “No.” she had murmured, writhing from him.
“No! Don’t touch me.!”

But he had not heard. She saw the red rage pumping in his temples. She could see the congestion in his chest. She remembered her hand pull loose and rake his chest, leaving bloody traces of her fingernails.
A terrible anger had risen up within her. She decided to be more alert and careful. She regretted herself for her negligence and overconfidence. She inducted him for all his treachery and misdeed and violation of trust and confidence. She hurriedly finished the bath. She tidied her clothes properly. After a lot of deliberation with herself, she stepped out.


On hearing the door of the bathroom open, he just came from the shop up to the doorframe and glanced at her as if it was a routine day and nothing had happened.

HIS VERSION.

His feelings for her were genuine. He had no mind to molest her. He just wanted to make her a woman. That’s all.
Since childhood both had lived under one roof. It was her mother who daily poisoned her ears about boys especially, him. Mother was responsible for her dislike for him. Mother emphasized that he was from a business class family. She was a royal class family. She should not mix with ordinary lot. According to mother he was from the ordinary lot.
She was a member of the royal family.
He was immensely in love with her. On her part she never reciprocated his feeling. She cut short matter with him. She did not take notice of the various favor and gesture of friendship he extended to her. She took him as a servant in the house. She used to order around. She used to taunt him, scold him, ill-treat him. In his love for her, he took all these gestures as act of an innocent young girl and that she did not mean what she did to him. After mother’s death, he tried to make efforts to win her over. She was full of dream and engrossed in her fantasy. She never appreciated his gesture and signal of love. Familiarity breeds contempt. He was an orphan. He was love-thirsty. By ill-luck, his parents abandoned him to the mercy of nature. Her mother happened to come across the boy, by sheer chance. She took him in her house. She provided him with shelter. She had her own motives to keep the boy.

It was a full time job for him. He was put to work at a tender age. He was provided residential quarters adjacent to the stable. She needed a servant, sort of a person to look after the house, animals and do all sort of handy work.
He studied himself all by himself at home by borrowing books from friends and sometimes he used to take away her abandoned books. His day used to pass away in cleaning the house, feeding the animals and pets and doing all sort of house-hold work from cleaning to sweeping mopping like that. All this hardly left him free to enjoy life. Life was an ordeal. Her mother had left no stone unturned in warning to beware of boys; never allow him to come near. They were at cross-swords right from the beginning. He knew that it was hard to live in Rome and quarrel with the Pope.

In fact he was born of a very noble heritage. his parents were the leading family in spices trade in the south. His was a very splendid life in his parents' abode. But Nature did not like Jimmy to keep rolling in wealth and luxury. His father had undertaken the sea-journey in his big ship despite his mother's advice not to go. As fate would have it, the ship was captured by the area- pirates. His father was taken as a hostage. He was thereafter killed. Here the mother could not bear the loss. She lost all charm in life and within a year she died out of shock.

He was jealous of her. She was a pampered child. she had the habit to command the entire estate including him. After mother's death they were living in the same way as before. There was no change in their routine life.



He was in love with her. She took him as a servant and nothing else. It was an attempt on his part to tame her and make her his girl.

THE CONCLUSION.

Man is an over-rated commodity than a woman. She is always under-rated. Man would never forget the past and its glory. The ancient history and mythological tales always impress him. He believes in illusion.
For example, the following:

“Like upon an ugly rock, ugly houses stay safe;
Come, and see my shining palace, built on sand.”

One has to fight his war within and outside. She never felt clean; howsoever much, she tried to wash herself. She was aware of his appetite for her. He would do it again if he had a chance and opportunity like before. She kept a straight face. She did not acknowledge his presence in the house. She had outcaste him. She kept no contact with him. She never as far as possible crossed his path. Her silence was deadening to him. He knew he had lost her. She was careful not to wish or smile or return his compliments if they happened to be together in kitchen.

She used to go to her room straight from college and used to keep the doors closed from inside. She was careful now not to leave her underclothes in the bath-room; never to let him see her in her under-clothes while going to bath-room or returning there from. She bathed in a hurry when it was dark. She was careful that he might not see her semi-nude or moving in nightclothes.

She abandoned humming singing or dancing by herself while moving around the house. She accepted that she was being watched. She had to be on her guard. Eternal vigilance is the price for safety and freedom.
She was often called a pretty girl in her class. More accurately she could be called a girl who would not go unnoticed in a group of girls. Her erect posture, economy of movement, was something rare in a young teen-ager. She had aged ten year within the last few days. Her eyes were half-shut; down cast, and not wandering and roving. She would hide and absorb all view, vile scenes. She was many times put in an awkward position, among group of boys in class, or in streets with men. She used to absorb wild gestures, direct pass, come-on signals, as if she did not see them. Her face used to turn stern and strict and hard at the very idea of an association with any man. She knew what pain and shame it was to be a woman! She shuddered at the very idea of rigid male flesh tear into a woman marching mercilessly savagely within, penetrating, to no limit, deep inside, choking, suffocating and smothering her, and the man abandoning, and walking out, after his lust had been satisfied.

Her outing consisted of going to college and back. Her schedule was regular like a timetable. Hungry males used to wait to see her. She used to move in the library in free period selecting books to read. The Librarian was fond to see her in a bent pose, her body bent gracefully to lift the books, and straighten again with the books to her bosom. She learnt to mind her business.


Inside her she used to shake and shudder but she kept a stern outward profile. Her bold front melted many a times and she was a nervous wreck. Had mother been alive! She would have no fear. She felt herself alone and unprotected. The world was an evil place, evil for rich girls and poor; evil for tall and short, evil for good-looking and the usual, evil for the entire woman kind.

She had to master art of living in a male-dominated world. Every step there was temptation. Every step there were nets spread to get her. Pits were made to trap her in. She was singled out to participate in picnic, annual function and all other college activity.
She was called under one pretext or other to participate in some program. Boys came to ask for her copybook and so on and so forth. They used to come to her through the small talk and claim to know her. Some were clever, some were clumsy but moral behind it was the same to create an occasion to speak to her, under one pretext or the other. She abstained from all these attraction. She never relaxed and went with any of them. She had to make her way against all odds. It was hard for her. She was coming up. It would not be her fault, if she slipped. She has to master the art of surviving and tackling the obstinate males. How easy it is for a clever woman to manipulate any man! Sex is a weapon. It is a game. They master this art well in time she turns twenty. It is a power God has gifted them over man. A woman who did not sharpen her weapons and kept them ready to shoot was a fool.

She wanted to work in some place after her studies. She was willing to work for lower wages. She liked to work in big fashion house. She planned to run away to Paris after her studies were over.

Till then she locked her dreams in strong box and concentrated her energy in her studies. Men in streets used to attend to her timing of going to college, and returning, watching her graceful undulation of body as she walked. They would stare at her invitingly and eagerly. She went to college and back with a stern demean and a severe face.
She had her own beauty when she was red with anger or flushed when she was made to wait or manipulated. No artist could capture her pose in any picture, or doing justice to paint her profile. She was beyond picture. She was beyond painting. She was a live volcano. Her fleeting sentiment and flowing emotion none could capture and treasure them. It was her own. She is a no body, if she did not become angry in a day. She was a different being when angry. She was seen shuddering, with blood rising in her as if she would destroy the world and everything around. She could feel her heart throbbing, lungs and the ribs enlarging to burst through the thin fabric of her dress. Her frame was a full five –six, slim fair and majestic looking, radiating light and luster.

“An evening out with her in her company would be sensational.” was everybody’s dream. “What the eyes do not see, the heart does not grieve about.”

A change of woman now and then is good for health. Wine, women and waltz are newly invented vitamins WWW. This was every man’s fancy.

She too had a sensation sometime, when she recollected her experience while going to sleep. It was a new feeling. She thought of forgetting. It was firmly imprinted in her mind; every small detail was available with her.


She had memorized it event by event step by step, minute by minute from the time the curtain opened till the end.
She would re-live with it so long as she was alive.
She felt his fingers. She felt his palm. She felt his hands –a mixture of fingers and palm together turn by turn arousing her to no limit. She felt his arms around her, his face close to her. He was not far off in her memory. She felt the dark beard and its tint shadowing the skin causing untold stories of her adventure. This was her treasure. She had it stored deep within her as a memory of an unforgettable event. Sometimes, she advanced her cheeks to put close to him for feel of its roughness on her skin. This was all wrong! Wrong! She could not forget it. It was coming again and again till sleep over come her. She loved him, the man whom she hated most. She wanted him to be produced before her so that she would punish him. She would be a terminator wanting nothing less than his head. All dreams. All talk. All false. My God! What is this?

Everything in her was scaled to proper size. She was a model, a real woman. To own apiece like that was an ambition every man. All are not lucky. Such pieces are few. You have to stand on one foot in meditation, for life to get her. There was no question of any plus and minus multiple and division. It was perfect beyond perfection. We see so many on screen, on stage, on front page of magazine. None could stand in comparison to this piece. She had put on a simple frock that day. Her hair had fallen down to her shoulders like spun gold. This scene of her and her lying on the bed gave him cricks in his neck.

There was something in her that attracted every man, drew every eye to have a glimpse of her. Her way of life was her own, unhurried and casual. Nothing surprised her.
Unaware of everybody, she was engrossed in her own way in herself and not caring what the world was doing, moving or falling. Her casual unhurried movement enticed many. She was not aware of hungry male-eyes ready to catch every of her movement of the slender frame in detail and at length. They used to see her right from her soft mass of hair tied in a ponytail with stark red ribbon-band. They watched the tip of her sandal, the simple white dress, flatteringly touching her hips outlining contours of her long shapely legs, all of which reflected and reinforced her sober personality, a glimpse of her to be stored in their mind as sweet memory. Her skin needed no advanced botanical element, added cream for a smooth and healthy look. It was naturally smooth and glowing.

She held her head high. Her chassis was solid to have an erect posture and economy of movement. She could be called pretty and would not go unnoticed by anybody. Such stuff was not to be seen on the road. She was meant to be kept indoors, away from the gazing eyes of the males. Her not too large, not too small mouth and thin lips were her ornaments. She needed no other ornament to wear. She can make way in the worst of the circumstance, filled with self-confidence, energy and freshness rare to be seen in others. She does not demand. She commands. She has to flicker an eyelash to get what she wanted.


She is soft-spoken and she is so sure of her that she is not required to repeat the same second time. She was the queen and all others were her subject and objects. She walks with easy steps and has grace and beauty in her walk.

Nature had gifted her with many oval shapes, especially the eyes, mouth, face, contours of eye-brows, oval eye-lashes, shadowing the oval eyes was her most positive point to advance.

Her beauty was exquisite. She was very attractive. She was very well dressed though subdued. She was very confident. She was very observant. The eyes were mostly half-shut with long jet-lashes closed like wings over the eyes. Time has an effect of healing all sorts of misery worry and difficulty in due course. She was in her last year of studies. She had passed almost four years with him in order to make her ready to jump in the open world. Exams were nearing. She had involved herself real deep in her studies. Every day had made her mature. Every night had made her stubborn. Her face was oval in shape, fresh with life in it. It was vibrating and communicating, emitting sensuous rays of magnetic current attracting everybody towards her. When she stopped, world stopped.

Once while going to college, she was having trouble on way to open the clamp of her purse and she had to halt a moment on road to set it right, all traffic behind stopped. She was unaffected. She would mind her business to shut the knob right, and moved ahead, unaware that she had created traffic-jam. She would unhurriedly precede a head to her journey to the college in an unaffected naturalness.

She entered the gate of the college in easy grace oblivious of the stolen glances of the bye-passers, as also the college-mates, who scanned every detail of her face, neck, breasts, body, waist, hips, legs, her dress, and her feet caged in the shining sandals. She met every stare of the male-eyes without any trace of effect, and without registering any recognition and her vision passing on, from one object to the other.

The past did not trouble her. She had forgotten it as an evil nightmare. The past had been buried. Only the future concerned her. She was on her own in this lonely world. Nothing had been handed to her on a plate. She had to build her own empire of life. Treachery had ceased to surprise her. In fact relatively few things surprised her any more. She had learnt to expect the worst from the people. She had pushed sentiments and emotions aside. She was a brick of a stone as far as she was with regard to her relations with the outside world. Ties of the blood and the flesh did not come to help in the hour of the need. She developed her instinctive attitude towards each of the individuals she used to come in touch with and behaved accordingly as per the dictates of her heart. History does have a way of repeating itself. She refused to anticipate the events. She prepared herself to meet with them as they came.

She shelved the unsolved problems. She concentrated on her priorities. She had inherited her mother’s good traits. She wanted the degree certificate in token of having passed the necessary exams. She displayed genuine willingness to weigh the pros and cons of every aspect of the case before arriving at a decision, when necessary she made compromises.


She wanted to consolidate herself mentally, financially and socially. She wanted to establish herself as a separate entity. She started her life schedule to come in the eyes of the neighborhood and the society. She had to create her own circle of acquaintances. The situation was disastrous and damning. She had to come out of the hodgepodge. She had developed herself into a tough and trained negotiator. Of late her self-confidence had grown.

Her affairs were not cut and dried as could be settled in a few moments. The prospect of living in the present ancestral house was not exciting. She wanted a way out that was safe sound and secure. She would have to be on a look out.

By the time she had turned twenty, she had her nerves of iron-more appropriately, and she had the nerves of steel. She could not be easily tackled. She could not be easily impressed. She had no time to waste after her school-friends, or college friends, who could see nothing beyond their sad and dismal lives. She was not interested in their feuds, took no sides when two friends quarreled and took their case to her. The repeater students were losers were always trying to be over-friendly with all, to win their sympathy, because they had no one to speak to. She watched out for repeater outcasts who clung to whosoever to come across with. It was fatal to let them link themselves to her.

“A man is known by the company he keeps.”
“A woman is known by the man she keeps.”


It was better to stay alone than to mix, move with the wrong people. To her one day was as precious as another was. Her elocution professor had outlined a program for her, which kept her sufficiently busy at home. She had observed the life about her with attentive interest and took it as a strict warning. Her friends used to dream about men. An accident or another would rescue them, and saved at the very moment, they were about to perish, by a prince nobleman, who would take them, to his quarters and maintain them for life. She was now a realist and practical. She did not entertain such dreams. She decided to take life as it came. She left the past behind and did not worry of the future. She concentrated on the present.

She practiced her voice to be melodious, soft, well modulated, and professional. After reaching the age, her voice had considerably changed. It was low-pitched and compelling voice of an artist, a skillful lady. Her smoothly shaped arms and legs contrasted with those of her class girls who had knotty, knotted short or medium size legs. Her mother had taught her how it was comfortable to remain clean. Hair became prettier when shampooed. She had taught her the manners to eat at the small table, a challenge so formidable that she had fits of terror remembering the first incident mother had sternly looked at her finding her eating without the fork and the knife. Her mother had always warned her of the need to wear quality underwear items. She insisted that a girl should remain clean all the time.


Mother: “You never know when you would wind up in an accident and in an emergency hospital room.”
One is judged on the basis of the quality of her lingerie and the dress she is wearing. Her mother had adopted a very strict code of life since childhood to all her life. She expected her to follow the same meticulously.

She was eager to see the world. She had not seen the country even. She had heard her Elocution Professor telling in the class that New York was the best place in the world to take the conceit out of a man. She was impressed and desired if she would be lucky enough to see New York in her lifetime. She wished to be a ballet-dancer. She was on a look out for a ballet-manager under whose guidance she could be an able ballet-dancer.

She had blossomed into a full-fledged woman. She felt thrills and despairs of loving and caring. She was envy of every other woman. Her dancing ability led her to try out for the National academy. She was a gifted dancer. She seemed to express through her dance, sensitivity and meaning beyond meanings beyond her years. She was accepted by the National Academy. She was considered one in a hundred thousand to be selected for the academy. With five years of intensive training she was at the Top. When she had come to the academy she was in need of shelter. Now her needs had expanded into a longing for identification. She tried to reconstruct threads of her past life. She was in constant demand. She did not lose her head. She remained the same unassuming her despite her meteoric rises in the world of dancing.


To her utter surprise she came face to face with Prince James. He was the Guest of Honor, at the Annual Dance Competition at the Dance Academy. She received the prize at the hands of the Prince. The Director of the Academy introduced her to the Prince.

The Prince made her sit beside him. He collected all her details. She was asked to accompany the Prince to the palace. She was allotted separate quarters. She was allotted staff to attend to her. She was adopted as the Princess of the Kingdom. She was put under charge of half a dozen tutors engaged in tutoring her various language and international outlook. The Prince asked her to accompany him when he attended public functions. She was trained for horse riding. She was taken to hunting trips to be unruffled in the worst of life saving circumstances.

The Prince took her on a journey to Southern Europe. They were guest of honor at all the Kingdoms. She developed a habit to address Women Organizations, like YWCA, whenever they happened to get a chance to do so. Her views about preserving the Woman’s Myth interested them. She said that the advertisement showing woman’s cosmetics, lingerie, stay free sanitary napkins needed to be stopped. She preferred women, and their cosmetics and personal items should be left to the care of women advertisers only. Vulgar display of such intimate items belittled the dignity and image of woman community at large.

She wanted to create a popular opinion all around, to put an end to such advertisement in newspapers, TVs, depicting women as toys of man’s fancy. Woman had her own independent identity. She lived independently on her two feet, had her own existence. Such advertisements depicted women by and large as subordinate to the males. She stressed the need to put an end to it.

She was a lucky one to get the break. She was an exception to the rule. She fell in the right hand of the Prince James. Her future was safe and sound with the royal family. This happens with a rare few. She kept her head on her shoulders. She did not lose it. She was on her toes all the while to take care of her. She was careful not to involve herself in any controversy or scandal. Her behavior was that of a Royal Princess. She happened to move in the uppermost crust of the society. At the Top it is real Heaven. She had no problem. Life was easy for her. The world was at her command. She had to just order.

LE VOIX DE LA POPULI.

What gets into their minds? Why in the name of Love don’t they stay where they belong? Believe it or not but it is a fact that wifehood is the best hood in all circumstances. Grab it, when a chance comes. Why are they not content with what they are great at? Why do they pursue other career or a job? Is entertaining a man not their career, a job? They spoil both.

They can not do justice to the career, at the same time they could not be good housewife. Life becomes a tragedy. Any way that is life. A shoemaker can not be a good tailor-master and vice versa. A carpenter can not be a good blacksmith and vice versa. Why do they not stick to their jobs they are good at? I do not refer to her in particular. I refer to them as a whole in general. In her case she had resorted to a career in dancing. Is it not entertaining the men? Yes. It is. So there is no problem. They can be good teachers. They can be good nurses. They can be good singers. They can be good doctors. They can be good volunteers, an asset to the voluntary agencies. They are not good as bosses.

In her case she was meant to be a good housewife. She would do everything that was required to be done of a housewife. She would be loud, free, in her grumbling about day to day hardships of life felt by a domestic wife. She liked to criticize anything and everything about daily occurrences of life including the weather that is the heat, the cold the rains the dry spell etc. She was particularly exasperated at the attitude of the servants, the stores clerks, bus drivers, taxi drivers, or hairdressers, or the laundry man in their dealings with customers. She was quite cross at the incompetent world and an unpredictable weather. These two subjects were her favorite topics and she would speak on them like an authority for any period of time. She would be a charming smiling seductive wife. She would be an efficient homemaker.

Her man would always desire her. She would prove a good kitchen keeper where the coffee was always hot and food quite appetizing, the rooms would be always well furnished and clean, the beds properly made and flowers properly arranged. She would be a sweet agreeable wife. Touchwood. Great fun and good living was certain in life with her. She would be a live company. Life would never be boring. Presence of the woman in the house softens the dull atmosphere.

It is called a Home. It is no more a bachelor’s quarters. People visit you, respect you as a respectable family. She was meant to be a good mother of her children. She could handle six with ease and comfort. The seventh would be her man. She would handle all of them with a stern look and a heavy hand. Her man can not play around. That is for sure.